


Family

by boredomsMuse



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam McClain, Alien Adam (Voltron), Alien Lance (Voltron), BAMF Lance (Voltron), Dad sendak, Galra Lance (Voltron), Lance and Adam are brother, Lance has Secret Family members, M/M, Multi, Some of these will be spoilery, its a trope of mine, you have been worried
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:47:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24645079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredomsMuse/pseuds/boredomsMuse
Summary: Lance has a secret.  Okay, maybe two.  Actually-Well, Lance has a lot of secrets.  Especially when it comes to his family.  He'd planned to keep those secrets, but sometimes the universe has other ideas.
Relationships: Adam & Lance (Voltron), Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Matt Holt/Lance, Matt Holt/Lance/Ryan Kinkade, Matt Holt/Ryan Kinkade, Ryan Kinkade/Lance
Comments: 21
Kudos: 294





	1. Viren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first Voltron fic in like, 500 years. Wow.  
> Also my first multichaptered fic in a while. 
> 
> But hey, if you want to keep up with my regular writing I do these [daily LGBT+ drabbles](https://tapas.io/series/Rainbow-Scribe)

It all starts with a task.

The throne room is huge and it’s dark. The only lights, heck the only  _ anything _ , in the room is focused all on the throne. And the galra that sits on it. 

Viren has seen Zarkon before. At large events and once or twice when Zarkon stopped by to talk to his father. None of that compares to now, kneeling before his Emperor after having been  _ personally summoned _ .

It’s terrifying. Has he done something wrong? He doesn’t  _ think _ he’s done anything wrong.

“Viren.” Zarkon greets and the galra in question startles.  _ Zarkon knows his name _ .

“E-emperor Zarkon.” Viren returns, trying his hardest  _ not _ to look up. Eyes on the ground, kneel unless told to rise. That’s what his father told him.

“I have a request of you.” Zarkon says.

“Me?” Viren repeats, confused. 

“I have told you do exceptionally with technology.” Zarkon says. “Though I can’t say it’s been stated that way.” 

“I uh, I get carried away when I experiment.” Viren explains with a weak laugh. He’s definitely here because of that time he made all the droids on his father's ship dance, isn’t he?

“With the problems we are facing, I believe your experiments are just what we need.” The emperor claims. This time Viren manages not to voice his surprise. “Every day the fight grows harder, as I’m sure your father has told you.” 

“He has.” Viren confirms, frowning to himself. It worries him often, the things that might happen to his father while in unsecured areas.

“We are trying to help, but some don’t see that. They react violently.” Zarkon says. “I believe, if we are to help the universe, we need something to stop the fighting. A way to stop organic threats to our people, as well as inorganic ones. Quickly.”

“You want me to create a weapon?” Viren clarifies. Sure he likes messing with technology, and with the druids equipment, but he’s not sure he wants to create a weapon…

“Don’t think of it as a weapon.” Zarkon says. “Think of it as a shield. Our people, your father, cannot retreat safely if they are being attacked. I want to ensure they’re safe.” Well, when it’s put like that...

“I’ll try my best, your majesty.” Viren accepts.

“That is all I ask.” Zarkon says, dismissing the child. His eyes on the ground, Viren doesn’t see the way Zarkon smirks.

* * *

A way to disable the dangerous species. To stop organic and non-organic means of attack.

Viren spends quintants poking at the problem in between his studies, trying to plot a solution. He’ll need to break it in parts, he knows. Something to stop organic life, and something to stop technology. 

He’s part way through a shooting simulation when it hits him.

“Get back here!” His tutor shouts but Viren doesn’t.

“Sorry!” He calls back. “Important mission things, have to go!” Let his classmates chew on that, he’s important enough to have missions already.

He’ll create a gas, one that can put anything to sleep. It’ll have to be breathable through the most common ways and multiply rapidly in oxygen and CO2 rich environments. He should make sure it persists in space though, because it’ll be safest to store outside a galra ship and they don’t want to lose it if there’s a leak.

Of course those conditions are risky. The wrong chemical mixture and the gas could kill, which isn’t what they want. The point of the galra empire is to spread peace, even to the most hostile species.

As for the tech, well that’s easy. An AI system that seeks it all out. Quickly, of course, with priority. Probably best then for it to be self-aware and teachable, so it can decide for itself what the most dangerous targets are. That’d also make it easier to avoid taking out non-hostile technology. Every species needs it’s tech, after all. Plus, Viren has always  _ wanted _ to make a self-aware bot! 

Plans made, Viren sets to work immediately.

* * *

It all changes with a conversation.

Viren’s not meant to hear it, looking back he’s sure no one’s meant to hear it. The spot they choose, it would be almost impossible to eavesdrop without being caught. Almost. Because there are vents all through the galra city ships. According to his father, they’re for the drones to use in worst-case scenarios. Like if something tried to attack. No ever does though so Viren just uses them to relax. An impossible thing to do outside his quartners, and even those get stuffy.

That day he just happened to settle in a vent close enough to hear them. Close enough to shimmy over and see the galra that were talking.

“The child is almost finished.” The galra to the left hisses. He must be a guard on leave, too old to be in training and too young to be a civilian. Viren hasn’t seen him before but he hasn’t seen a lot of the guards. “We have to do something, we can’t let those weapons be used.” 

“We can’t risk being found out. They’re too tightly guarded.” The galra to the right says. Viren  _ has _ seen this galra before. Thace is a rising star among the soldiers, although father always complains about him and his commander. He seemed nice the one time they met, at a ball celebrating the liberation of a new sector.

Is the guard maybe from Thace’s ship? What are they even talking about?

“Innocent lives are at stake!” The guard snaps. “You’ve seen the reports, Zarkon plans to use those weapons on the Nitorus system. As a test! With weapons like that it will only take quintants to wipe out the whole system. The Nitorus system hasn’t even achieved intergalactic communication yet, they won’t know what hit them.”

What? 

No, not that can’t be right. Zarkon would never use a weapon on an innocent system. That’s just not what the galra do. Maybe, if he had to, Zarkon would attack a system for their protection but not an innocent system. Not a system so young it doesn’t even have intergalactic communication yet.

It has to just be some random rumor. Surely Thace is about to tell the guard he’s both out of line and incorrect.

“I know that Ulaz.” Thace confirms instead. What? “But what can we do? Even if we could get close, destroying or stealing the weapons won’t do anything. They’ll just have Viren make more.” Wait, they’re talking about him? But he’s not making any weapons! Well, not any like  _ weapon  _ weapons. Zarkon said they’d be like shields.

“Surely stealing them will do something, slow them down at least.” Ulaz tries.

“Hardly.” Thace denies. “At best, it will tip Zarkon off to our existence. At worst we will be captured. The only option is to stop Viren, and we will not do that. We are not like them.” Stop him? What does that mean?

“Of course we won’t harm the child, I would never suggest such a thing.” Oh. “But perhaps we could talk to him, show him the truth.” 

“I doubt there is much hope for Sendak’s son. He will be too wrapped up in Zarkon’s lie.” Thace sighs. “Come, we must return to our posts. We can continue this conversation later.” From his vent, Viren watches the galra walk away but he doesn’t see it. He’s too caught up in their conversation.

Surely they’re confused, right? Zarkon wouldn’t use a weapon like ASTRA or SAG on some random planet. No, Zarkon will use them when he has too. There are races that don’t take kindly to the galra stepping in, that want nothing to do with the peace and freedom Zarkon is trying to spread. Viren’s weapons will help disable them long enough for the galra to get away, without unnecessary bloodshed.

That’s not a lie, right?

* * *

Viren can’t just leave it there, even if he wants to. He has to know, for himself, if Thace and Ulaz were…

He has to prove they’re wrong.

“You’re here late.” ASTRA comments. He’s already hooked her code up to a droid body, although he’s not sure the code is bug free yet. It’s why he declared the project complete.

Well, that and because the druids want to test SAG further. They want to ensure it’s not deadly, they told Viren. But they won’t let him join the tests. Is that suspicious? He’d never thought of it as suspicious before. His father had stood by the verdict and that was that.

“I need to check something.” Viren says, settling down at his computer. He stops for a moment, staring at the keyboard. 

He didn’t ask his father because he’s scared, because he’s not sure his father will tell him the truth. 

Because if Thace and Ulaz are right… Viren doesn’t want to know how that interaction will go. How things will change if Viren refuses to let Zarkon use his creations for murder.

But these computers are no more safe than telling his father. Not if someone notices.

There are cameras in this room.

“ASTRA, we’re going to do some blind testing.” He says. “I’m going to take this room off of the network, to make sure your code is working without the galra system backing you up.”

“Alright.” ASTRA agrees, a slight pause telling him she suspects a lie. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t take Viren long to take the room of the network, it’s something he learnt to do as a kid wanting to get anyway with not being in his bedroom. He doesn’t have a believable video to cut into the camera so he shuts it off. If anyone asks, he’ll tell them he didn’t notice. He must have been more effective in cutting off the room than he thought.

“We aren’t testing me, are you?” ASTRA asks, settling beside him as Viren makes his computer untraceable and reconnects it.

“No.” He admits. “We aren’t.”

Viren learns many things that night. He learns that SAG is deadly, he learns that Zarkon brings no peace, he learns that his father has been lying to him all his life.

“Did you know this?” Viren asks, staying close to the toilet in case he needs to throw up again.

“I haven’t seen any of it.” ASTRA says. “Is it, not good?” She asks.

“It’s horrible.” Viren says firmly. She’s a learning program. He’s given her a basic sense of right and wrong but she is a  _ learning program _ . Viren doesn’t want to know what Zarkon would have taught her. “We can’t stay here.”

“Where will we go?” ASTRA asks.

“Somewhere they can’t find us. I know who to ask.”

* * *

It is not as simple as leaving. Thankfully, Thace is still in the city. Thankfully, he believes that Viren isn’t spying. 

But it is not as simple as leaving.

“I need time to send word to the Blade.” Thace explains. “And beyond that, we need to destroy all evidence of your weapons from the galra. Otherwise there is no point.”

“I can do that.” Viren assures. “I can wipe all trace of them from the system, so they can’t be recreated. The druids will be done with SAG tonight, it’s not fully complete yet so they haven’t started copying it.” He checked that as soon as he learnt what they were really using SAG for. “If we take that and ASTRA with us, they won’t be able to recreate them.” 

“...You realize you can never come back, don’t you?” Thace asks after a moment. “You will be on the run for the rest of your life. The galra will be hunting you down for what you’ve done, your father included.”

“I know.” Viren mumbles, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. He understands the weight of what he’s doing, all the more now that he knows the truth.

“I can take the weapons and ASTRA, you can blame it all on me and play up your fears. Say you’re too concerned another weapon you’ve made will be used against the galra. Perhaps they’ll leave you alone.” Thace offers.

“I can’t.” Viren refuses. It would be nice, he thinks, to pretend nothing has changed. To pretend he hasn’t been played a fool. But that wouldn’t change the truth. It won’t change the war.

“Very well.” Thace says. Viren doesn’t know it, but in that moment he’s passed a test. “I will contact you when we are ready.”

* * *

Viren and ASTRA, the former holding tight to the only completed SAG capsule, escape onto Thace’s ship a movement later. All trace of Viren’s work is gone, ASTRA even managed to make sure the druids had no private copies. The galra will never be able to use the weapons he so stupidly created.

Unless, of course, they find ASTRA and SAG. Unless they find him.

Viren can’t let that happen.

“I’ve programmed the escape pods destination, I trust you can handle it’s tracking.” Thace tells him, late at night when there’s almost no one on patrol. 

“Right.” Viren nods, settling in to disable it. Instead ASTRA sets her hand on the console.

“I’ve got it.” She says.

“Good.” Thace says. “Kolivan will not be at that location long, don’t waste time.”

“We won’t.” Viren assures. He thinks that might be it but then Thace takes a step forward and pulls him into a hug. Viren is not a kit anymore, there is no reason for anyone less than a mate to be this intimate with him. But he is still young, young and alone and terrified. Even if he won’t admit to any of that. Viren all but clings to Thace.

“Be careful. We will have to report the pod missing soon. I can try and promise you a quintant, but you may only have vargas.” He says, pulling away gently. “The universe thanks you for your bravery.”

“Thank you for opening my eyes.” Viren returns. ASTRA closes the pod door and they disappear into space.

* * *

Viren hasn’t done much space travel. He travelled to Zarkon’s ship, but that had been a single jump without time to look around. He travelled some with his father, when his father was certain it’d be safe, but he’d been largely confined to a section of the ship without windows. Even Viren hadn’t been able to sneak past the guards.  Knowing what he knows now, he’s glad.

The trip to meet with Kolivan is much of the same. Viren is too nervous to really look at the stars.

“We’re fine.” ASTRA assures him, for the thousandth time. “They have no idea where we are.”

“I don’t have idea where we are.” Viren points out. “What if this Kolivan is even more dangerous than Zarkon?”

“There is a low probability of that.” ASTRA says. Sighing, Viren supposes he has to accept that.

When they reach the Marmora base it’s small. Barely the size of the smallest fleet ships. ASTRA pilots, taking them into the loading bay where there are Blade members to meet them. The first must be Kolivan, a half-galra and the one one of the three not wearing a mask.

“Uh, hi.” Viren greets, clutching SAG to his chest. 

“This is only a temporary stop.” Kolivan warns without so much as a greeting. “Within a few movements we will be rid of this base and you will be on your way, we can’t trust you.”

“That’s fine.” Viren says, honestly. He’s nervous to trust the Blade of Marmora too, and he’s definitely too nervous to stay in one place. If the galra find him, it means the deaths of thousands. “I just need a way to hide who we are and then I’ll be out of your hair forever.” It’d be for the best, really. So long as he doesn’t look like Viren.

“We?” Kolivan frowns, looking from him to ASTRA. “Wouldn’t it be better to destroy any trace of your weapons?”

“I would rather not be murdered.” ASTRA drawls, startling Kolivan.

“ASTRA is a full AI, she’s practically galra herself.” Viren defends. “I can’t and won’t destroy her.”

“I see.” Kolivan says. “And the poison?”

“If I could just throw that into the vastness of space I would.” In the vastness of space it’d be impossible to find. “But it’s too dangerous. I have to make sure the capsule’s not broken.”

Because he, like a fool, made it capable of being left in space. Waiting to cling to any ship that passes through, and suffocate the first world it landed on.

* * *

It takes him longer than he planned to figure out how to disguise himself. Not because he’s unsure, or even because the Blade don’t have the tools he’d like. Rather, his time is chewed up by the Blade themselves.

Kolivan might have been standoffish, but the Blade are not. According to them even Kolivan isn’t actually that mean.

“He gives everyone the shovel talk.” Priv assures him. He’s taken it upon himself to drag Viren to meals. Even drags ASTRA along too. “Can’t be too careful, I guess.”

Meals with the Blade are weird but in a good way. There’s no strict sitting arrangements, no rations. Most days there’s not even a set time! You come in, grab from the display, and sit where you’d like. 

It’s sort of like having meals with just his father, rather than in the mess hall. 

Of course, Viren tries not to compare it like that. Because his father was lying to him all his life, because his father is a murderer.

But those dinners were nice, and that’s what this is.

They have training here, just like they did back home, but it’s different too. Seglok demands he attend her classes so he does, excepting the worst. He’s an outsider, one that hasn’t claimed his place yet. In the empire that would mean a brutal sparring class, potentially with blasters if he was unlucky.

There’s none of that here. He simply… joins the class. Which is just as much a social affair as an educational one. There’s not even a hint of competition. Viren didn’t know classes could be this way.

He gets pulled into other things as well. Games nights, pillow forts, Monsters and Mana campaigns. 

There is a war going on, Viren is acutely aware of that now, but the Blade seem to balance that with other things. It’s nothing like the Empire, where all galra of age join the fight and only come home to mate, for repairs, or when they are too old to be of any use. The only reason Viren physically saw his father so often was because his father was a commander, allowed a handful more freedoms than others.

Viren is kind of… disappointed when he finishes his device.

It’s a watch, or two really. One for him and one for ASTRA. One that can give him the appearance of any creature in its database and even disguise the texture of his fur. Although he won’t be able to fake a tail or horns or wings, it should work well enough.

That’s all he needs, now he can leave. Be on his way to a hiding place that Zarkon will never find.

For the next few quintants, Viren puts together a manual. He wants the blade to be able to recreate the watches, and to be able to use them. That only gives him a few more quintants.

“It’s safest we leave.” ASTRA reminds.

“But do  _ you _ want to?” Viren huffs.

“No.” ASTRA admits. “But Zarkon will be hunting us down, we risk the entire Blade by staying.”

“I know.” Viren sighs. “Let’s pack.”

The whole base is there to see him off, which might be more impressive if there were more than a dozen or two members on board. They keep the mood light, nothing like when he arrived. Most aren’t even wearing their masks anymore. Just like when he left Thace, he’s pulled into hugs and given well wishes. Viren, now used to the affection that had been all but outlawed in the empire, returns in kind.

When Kolivan steps into the hanger, the celebrations cease. The Blade members step back to let their leader through and Viren tries not to bolt to his ship. Despite everyone’s assurances that he’s nice, really, Viren hasn’t seen much of the Blade leader since that first day. He’s expecting a threat, a ‘if you go back to Zarkon I will find you’. 

“Do not grow comfortable.” Kolivan warns him instead. “Keep your wits, and keep your training up. If you have trouble, run.”

“Uh, I will.” Viren assures, once he’s over his surprise. 

“Good.” Kolivan looks to ASTRA. “I assume you’re connected to our network.” He says.

“I am.” ASTRA confirms.

“ASTRA.” Viren hisses. She wasn’t meant to do that, that’s definitely a suspicious action, right? But Kolivan doesn’t seem bothered.

“Good. You will always be welcomed with the Blade, if you need us.” He says. “Use the communications sparingly, but you are welcome to check in. I’m sure there are many that will want to hear from you both.” Behind Kolivan, several of the Blade members nod in agreement.

“We will.” ASTRA nods. 

“Safe travels.” Kolivan nods back. After one last round of goodbyes, ASTRA and Viren leave. Once they’re clear of the base, Viren uses the wormhole generator he jerry rigged. It should work once, spitting him out on the far side of the universe.

Or it’ll kill him.

Only one way to find out.

* * *

It’s supposed to end with a backwater planet.

When they pop out of the wormhole, they’re so far out of the way that they aren’t on any maps. It seems a safe enough place to settle, and there’s only one planet to choose really. The one with water on it.

“Maybe we won’t even need the illusions.” Viren says, bringing the ship down to land. 

“There appear to be some structures with lights.” ASTAR comments as they draw closer to the surface. “They don’t look too advanced.”

“Maybe they’re natural.” Viren guesses. They draw close enough to land, if Viren had descended over land. Instead he hovers above the water, choosing a direction. Eventually he finds a cave he can land the ship in, just in case the lights aren’t natural.

They’re unbothered that night and Viren starts to think they were right, that this planet is empty of intelligent life. Not ideal, but he can manage. Maybe he even deserves it after what he made.

Then, the next morning, two bipedal figures, looking a lot like the alteans of old, step into his cave. They freeze when they see him and Viren freezes too.

“S-stay back!” He eventually manages, jumping in front of ASTRA even if, technically, she’d be much better in a fight.

“It’s okay!” The taller of the creatures assures. It’s not speaking galran so it might not understand Viren, but Viren’s ear piece has no trouble translating its voice. “There’s no need to be scared, you’re not the only alien we’ve met!”

“I’m not?” Viren asks, panicked. But that’s not possible, is it? Viren only reached this planet through a wormhole, and it hadn’t been on any maps.

“We have a big brother who’s an alien, although he doesn’t talk weird like you.” The native continues, clearly picking up the confusion in his tone though proving they don’t understand him. “He says he’s not safe in space because it’s dangerous. It’s the same with you, right?” 

Is it?

He’s not safe in space, not at all. But is it the same as this other alien they clearly know? Are they a galra on run, or on the run from the galra?

Viren can’t know, but he also doesn’t have a lot of options, so he nods.

“You can come home with us then.” The native offers. “Ma will be able to help.” Viren hesitates, turning to ASTRA.

“If a native found you this quickly, surely there will be more. Perhaps it’s best to go with them.” ASTRA suggests so Viren nods again.

They travel to one of the structures, clearly not natural, and Viren meets the ‘McClains’. He meets the ‘big brother’ as well, he’s not galra. But he’s unbothered but Viren’s appearance, is even happy to translate for him. 

Viren isn’t expecting to stay that night, but the McClains will have nothing less. 

A backwater planet is not the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can pry my 'The BoM arent just stoic fighters' from my cold dead hands
> 
> Next Chapter: Lance, hopefully up within the next few days. But hey, if you enjoyed my writing I've been doing these [daily LGBTA+ drabbles on tapas](https://tapas.io/series/Rainbow-Scribe)


	2. Lance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd because I'm lazy and also because I have to leave for work now.
> 
> dont forget i like to self-plug and also i do [daily LGBT+ drabbles](https://tapas.io/series/Rainbow-Scribe)

It all starts in a cave.

A cave that’s full of alien technology, a ship and language that’s entirely forgien to humanity. But this cave isn’t in the desert, it isn’t a hoverbike ride away from the Garrison. This cave is on the side of a cliff, in a spot the sand doesn’t always reach. Lance likes to go down there some days for… well, for no good reason really. 

Today is one of those days, but today isn’t like all those other days.

No one is supposed to know about the cave, not outside of his family. So why is there a brown-haired boy poking about?

“Who are you?” Lance demands, startling the stranger. “What are you doing here?!”

“Oh, hi!” The boy greets, grinning. “Are you from around here? Did you know about this thing? It’s so cool, it has to be alien.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Lance frowns, fists clenched at his sides. The boy doesn’t look much older than him but Ma says no one can find out about this place. It’s too dangerous.

“Doesn’t it?” The boy asks. If he notices how tense Lance is, he doesn’t seem to care. “This thing is pulsing with energy, Dad and I have been wanting to check it out since we got here. But Mum says Dad can’t work on holiday, so I came to check it out myself.” He explains. “I’m glad I did! I mean seriously, a  _ spaceship _ . Dad’s going to love this, Mum too.”

“You can’t tell them!” Lance protests, jolting forward. One stranger knowing is bad enough but three? And  _ adults _ ? Lance can’t let that happen.

“Why not? This is the scientific discovery of the century!” The boy argues.

“It’s not yours to discover!” Lance says. “It’s especially not yours to poke at!”

“Whose is it then?” The boy asks, rolling his eyes. “Yours?”

“No!” Lance snaps. “It’s my big brothers.” He adds, mumbling, with his arms crossed over his chest. The boy frowns, looking over.

“Your big brother?” He repeats. “But… you’re human, aren’t you?” 

“He’s adopted.” Lance says. “And I don’t want anything to happen to him, so you can’t tell anyone. Or, or… Or I’ll do something! You won’t know what.”

“That’s not a very good threat.” The boy says, amused. “But okay, I won’t tell my dad.” 

“Thank you.” Lance says, relaxing. 

“ _ If, _ ” the boy continues, making Lance tense once more, “you tell me everything you know.”

“What?” Lance frowns. 

“Come on, if this is your brother’s you have to know  _ something _ about it, right? I can’t just leave here not knowing about how the spaceship works.” Lance doesn’t want to, because it’s a secret. But, well, if it keeps the boy from not telling anyone else it’s okay… right?

“Okay.” He agrees. “But only if you swear not to tell anyone.”

“This is going to be awesome!” The boy grins. “I’m Matthew Holt by the way, but you can call me Matt.”

“I’m Lance, Lance McClain.” Lance returns.

“This is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship Lance.” Matt announces.

It is.

* * *

Lance never planned to go to the Garrison. He’s content to stay at home, with his family. Content to get a local job and live a local life. 

Of course, the Garrison is something of a family tradition. His Ma worked for the Garrison, and Veronica and Adam went down that path too. No one will raise an eyebrow if he applies. Matt wants him to apply, so they can hang out in person again. 

It might even be fun to become a pilot. But… well Lance just feels a little weird about it. Does he really have the right to go? With everything his family knows, with everything his family, can he really go to a place like the Garrison? Adam and Veronica have never had trouble, but what if Lance does? What if he spills secrets he shouldn’t and everything goes wrong?

“I think there’s a very low probability of that.” Rachel says, watching him from the left. She’s resting her head on her arms, curled up and resting those on her knees. There’s a watch on her wrist, one that she’s very intentionally not bumping. People say they look like twins.

“That doesn’t mean it’s impossible.” Lance sighs. “Besides, isn’t it kind of cheating? I know what’s really out there.”

“So does Matt, and Adam, and Veronica.” Rachel points out. “Are they cheating?”

“That’s different.” Lance claims.

“Why?” Rachel asks, even though she knows the answer.

“Because they’re not me.” Lance answers, even though he knows she knows the answer. Maybe because she knows. Rachel hums. He’s not sure he makes that sound, she doesn’t really have lips to hum with. 

“I think you should go. I think there’s a high probability you’ll enjoy it.” Rachel states after a moment. “You should at least consider it.”

“I  _ am _ considering it.” Lance argues.

“You’re considering all the reasons you shouldn’t go.” Rachel says. “That’s different.”

* * *

Rachel doesn’t actually let him consider it. Veronica and Adam come back for the holidays, when time’s running short and Lance still hasn’t submitted his application. She turns them against him.

“Rachel says you’re joining us at the Garrison next yet.” Veronica grins as they’re setting up for dinner and then laughs at Lance’s scowl.

“I haven’t decided yet.” He says. “Which is what I told Rachel.” He adds, pointedly glaring at his sister who just keeps setting the table like nothings happened.

“You should.” Adam says. There’s a watch on his wrist too. He says it’s never so much as flickers, but Lance always worries that it’ll fail at the worst possible times. Like in class, or when he’s on a date with that boy he refuses to let them meet just yet.

“I don’t know, I’m not sure.” Lance mumbles, setting the salad on the table. “You two already have the Garrison covered anyway, I don’t want to be stuck in your shadows.”

“Join the scientists then, with that Matt of yours.” Veronica suggests. 

“He’s not mine.” Lance huffs. “And besides, Ma was a scientist. Her shadow’s bigger than either of yours.” 

“That’s right, your Ma is a genius.” Pa gushes. “Top of her division, they begged her not to leave.”

“Stop it.” Ma says, even though she’s smiling. 

“See, I can’t follow that.” Lance says.

“I’m sure you could.” Adam claims. “But if you’re so worried, join me in the pilot course. Shiro’s the only stand out in our class, and he’s not a McClain.” 

“Yet.” Marco fake coughs, skirting out of the way when Adam tries to wack his arm.

“Or you could become a communications officer, you’d do great at it.” Veronica suggests. “And I’ll get to show off my little brother. Adam’s never around when I want to tease him.”

“You’re easy to avoid.” Adam smirks, unbothered when Veronica sticks her tongue out at him.

“You should do what makes you happy.” Ma says, talking quietly to Lance while the rest of the family bickers. “If you think the Garrison will make you happy, you should go to the Garrison.”

“There’s so many things that could go wrong.” Lance sighs. “I don’t want to risk all this.”

“We trust you Lance.” Ma assures. “You’ll make sure nothing goes wrong.”

* * *

Despite Ma’s words, Lance is still nervous as he steps into the Garrison for the first time. Adam, Veronica, and Matt all offered to help him move-in but Lance turned them down. He’ll have to face classes himself, he might as well make move-in day a trial run.

Not that there’s much to actually move in. The Garrison provides all basic room requirements - bed, desk, drawers. It’s really just Lance’s clothes and a handful of personal belongings to unpack. Even so, Lance spends the whole time shaking. It’s like he’s expecting everyone he passes to somehow  _ know _ , even if they can’t possibly.

He’s about halfway through when someone bursts into his room and almost makes Lance jump out of his skin.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!” The boy says. He’s wearing a Galaxy Garrison uniform and looks about the same age as Lance. His roommate. “I’m Hunk, I guess we’re roommates huh? What course are you here for?”

“I’m Lance.” He returns. “I want to be a pilot.”

“I’m an engineer. Pilots seem cool but I don’t think I can handle that. I’d rather stay on the ground, you know? But I mean, I guess not all engineers can stay on the ground but hopefully I don’t have to do too many of the simulations.” Hunk quickly starts rambling, doesn’t even move from the doorframe, and Lance learns something very quickly - Hunk is even more nervous than he is.

“Hey man, you need help unpacking?” Lance offers when Hunk pauses to breath. If he over thinks this anymore, Lance is pretty sure he’s going to have a panic attack. 

“Unpacking? Oh, oh right.” Hunk shuffles in, dragging his suitcase with him. “Sorry I’m so late, I guess I was meant to be here hours ago, right? My dads were running late this morning, we always run late.” 

“No stress.” Lance assures. “Works out, right? I’m almost done, so I can help.”

That night, as they settle into bed, Lance has learnt some more things. For one, Hunk is great. Lance couldn’t have asked for a better roommate. Two, he’s not nearly so nervous anymore. 

* * *

Lance wouldn’t say he applied for the Garrison to hang out with Matt. He would say it was a bonus that he heavily considered when deciding to apply though. Which makes it all the more frustrating that they don’t have  _ time _ to hang out. 

They might be in the same compound but they’re in very different circles. Matt is rushing to finish his schooling early, so he can help his father full time, and Lance is struggling to commit to his first year. Sure he decided to attend the Garrison but now that he’s here he’s still torn. Keith isn’t helping. Something about that stuck up jerk just rubs him the wrong way.

But the point is, Lance can count on a hand how often he’s seen Matt since he arrived at the Garrison. When he gets the chance to increase that number, he jumps on it. Even if that means sneaking out to go see the new jellyfish display in town.

“I needed this.” Matt says, softly. The soft glow of aquarium lights reflecting off of his face is almost hypnotizing, Lance has barely looked at the fish all night. “Things have been stressful since the Kerberos mission got greenlit.”

“I heard about that.” Lance hums. “It’s your dad’s mission, right? Are you going?”

“Dad wants me to.” Matt confirms. “I have to finish my studies to get approved, but Dad says he’ll push for me. They’ve already decided on Takashi Shirogane for the pilot.”

“Really? Adam didn’t mention that.” Lance frowns. 

“He might not know yet.” Matt shrugs. “I’m nervous. Shirogane’s intimidating, you know? Best and youngest pilot of his generation and all that.”

“Adam says he’s just a big dork.” Lance assures. “Although I still haven’t met him yet.”

“Seriously?” Now it was Matt’s turn to be surprised. “Aren’t they engaged?”

“Yep.” Lance confirms, popping the P. “I don’t think Adam’s told Shiro about the whole alien thing. He doesn’t want Shiro to meet the family before he does.”

“You’re telling me I know more about the McClains then the great Shirogane?” Matt jokes. “Maybe that’ll make me less intimidating.”

“You know more about the McClains than anyone.” Lance laughs. “You’re practically family at this point.”

“Yeah?” Matt asks, tone going soft. He turns to look at Lance, resting his hands on top of the training pilots. The lighting really does wonders to Matt’s eyes.

“Yeah.” Lance breaths, entwining their fingers.

“You should meet my sister.” Matt says. “And my mum. And meet my dad outside of the lab. I want you to know my family too.”

“I’d like that.” 

* * *

Despite their trip to the aquarium  their date Lance doesn’t get a chance to meet Matt’s family before Kerberos. Everyone’s just too busy. The only person he gets to know is Sam, because eventually all of Matt’s time is spent in the lab and Lance just… really misses him.

“You’re wasted on the pilot program.” Sam laments one day. Lance had popped in to drag them out for food but they were too busy, so he’d offered to help. The stuff they were doing was complicated but it wasn’t too hard. 

“I’m highly motivated today.” Lance jokes, rather than admit how bad the pilot program is going for him. He hasn’t told Matt about being stuck in the cargo pilot course. They both know he can do better and Lance doesn’t want to admit why he didn’t. He was too caught up in whether or not he should be here.

“With a mother like yours, it must be natural talent.” Sam says. “My kids are the same, although between you and me I think Katie might be the smarter one.”

“Hey!” Matt protests and Lance laughs.

“You’ll have to have dinner with us one night.” Same continues, unbothered by Matt’s interjection. “The girls will love you.”

“We won’t have time until we get back.” Matt says, a touch of bitterness in his tone. He’s mentioned, fairly often, how badly he wanted Lance to meet his family before he left.

“It’s okay.” Lance assures. “I don’t mind waiting.”

* * *

Lance might not mind waiting, but Adam does. It takes a while for the news to get to him, wrapped up in the McClain family tree for at least a few hours, but when it does Lance storms right down to his brothers quarters.

“What the heck Adam?!” He demands.

“Not now Lance.” Adam mutters, nursing a whiskey. There’s a bottle next to him and Lance quickly moves it out of Adam’s reach. His brother doesn’t even have the energy to protest.

“I get that Shiro is sick, I get that you want to spend time with him, but Adam this is his dream.” Lance says.

“You don’t get it.” Adam huffs, taking a swing of the drink he’s holding.

“Then explain it to me.” Lance says, doing his best impression of Ma. “Because I didn’t think you were the type to give up on what you want Adam.” For a moment, Adam is silent but Lance can wait. All night if he has to.

“If Shiro goes up there, he’s not coming back.” Adam eventually whispers. “I don’t need to see the whole picture to guess why.”

“Did you tell him that?” Lance asks.

“Of course not!” Adam snaps.

“Why not?” Lance snaps right back. 

“I can’t tell him!” Adam shouts then slumps, energy gone. “I can’t, I can’t tell him the truth. He’ll hate me.”

“He won’t hate you.” Lance promises. “He loves you.”

“If he loved me he would listen to me. He wouldn’t go on Kerberos, even without knowing what I am.” Adam argues. Lance isn’t sure how to convince him otherwise, so he stays with Adam that night. He ignores Hunk’s curious text and spends the night curled up with his brother, watching movies and eating ice-cream. Alcohol and watch put aside.

* * *

Adam is right, because Adam is always right. Shiro does not come back from the Kerberos mission.

But Matt doesn’t either. Or Sam.

Pilot error.

Adam quietly pulls him out of classes for the day, and Veronica cancels every meeting she can.

“I’m sorry.” Adam mutters, hugging Lance so tight it almost hurts. “I didn’t see it, I thought it was just Shiro’s illness. I’m so sorry.”

_ It’s not your fault _ , Lance wants to say,  _ I know you’re hurting too. _

Veronica joins them as soon as she can and they spend the day mourning. They don’t talk much. Veronica manages to get them eating, and that’s all they can manage for the day.

On the weekend they’ll go home. Lance will stare at the beach and think about a spaceship, hiding in a cave, and he’ll think about racing to Kerberos. He’ll think about all the possibilities - that the space shuttle is still functioning, it’s just not flying, that Matt’s body is sprawled out on the dirt, that there won’t be a body to find.

The McClains won’t let him go down to the beach. They’ll gather in the living room and keep an eye on him and Adam and they’ll try to heal, just a little. No one will mention the What Ifs, the Should Haves, but they’ll share stories and memories. It will hurt, but it will help.

For now, they bother with trying to help. For now, they let themselves be broken.

* * *

Keith disappears in the desert and Lance feels the urge to go to the beach again. He pushes it down. Matt wouldn’t want him to do that, Matt would want him to stay at the Garrison. So he does, he stays at the Garrison and he puts his all into it.

He gets put in the Fighter Pilot program. 

Hunk stays with him but their communications officer isn’t interested in fighter pilots, she joins a different group. Instead, a transfer joins their group.

Lance pretends that Pidge isn’t Katie. That, with short hair and those glasses, Pidge isn’t the spitting image of Matt. 

If he doesn’t pretend, he’ll have to consider that the Kerberos Mission didn’t crash. Lance knows where those thoughts will lead him. 

He refuses to think that the galra empire is anywhere near Earth. No matter what Pidge finds.

* * *

It all changes with a dead man.

A dead man who isn’t dead, because he just crash landed into the desert. A dead man whose raving about Voltron and the galra and Lance can’t  _ pretend  _ anymore.

“You okay?” Hunk asks. The Garrison is long behind them now. Shiro is lying on a couch in a shack. Pidge is passed out, sleeping against Lance’s shoulder. Everything has changed.

“I guess I’m still reeling.” Lance mumbles. Hunk doesn’t know. Only Matt knew.

Matt isn’t dead.

“It’s a lot to take in.” Hunk agrees. “Especially with your brother and… well…”

“Yeah.” Lance sighs. 

“It’s going to be okay though.” Hunk promises. “We’ll find out what happened to them, and we’ll find a way to bring Matt home.”

“Right.” Lance nods. He already knows what happened to Matt. He’s known for a while now, even if he refused to admit it. 

There’s a ship in a cave, as soon as he can Lance is going to use that ship to find Matt. 

* * *

There’s a ship in a cave. An alien ship surrounded by text no human can understand. But this cave isn’t by the beach, a hundred steps away from Lance’s home. This cave is in the desert. 

“Maybe you just have to knock.” Lance says it as a joke, because he’s feeling a little hysterical right now. He doesn’t expect it to work. He doesn’t expect the Blue Lion of Votlron to open up to him. Of all the options she has, surely he is the worst. 

But there’s a growl in his mind that says the opposite, and there is a tether leading her to her pilot chair. She can lead the galra away from the Earth, away from the other weapons hidden here.

She can help him find Matt.

Lance makes his decision then and there and he hopes that Adam understands. He hopes that his family understands. 

But his decision is not everyone’s decision. Waiting in front of the wormhole, Lance knows he’ll go through but he can’t ask that of them. They don’t know.

Even so, not a single one backs down. 

* * *

There are alteans, apparently, and there are galra, and Lance stared that wormhole down and made his choice.

Now he’s not so sure.

It has to be Sendak, doesn’t it? He can’t start off easy, with a nameless enemy and a mission. He has to stare down Sendak and make a declaration of war.

“This is a terrible idea.” He says, taking two steps back when the video cuts. “We can’t fight them, we’ll lose. We should give up now.”

“We can’t let the galra have Voltron.” Allura refuses which, yeah Lance agrees. That would spell the end of everything. But surely they can hide, can’t they?

“We should run.” He says.

That’s a thought Allura considers. But ultimately, it’s one she shuts down. They’ll fight.

“Are you okay Lance?” Hunk asks. “Just because they’re fighting doesn’t mean we have to, you know.”

“No.” Lance sighs. He’s had time to calm down and Allura’s right, they need to do this. “I can handle this. You don’t have to though, I won’t think less of you if you back down.”

“Come on man, you know me better than that.” Hunk says, bumping their soldiers. “I didn’t back down when you became a fighter pilot, I’m not backing down now.” Lance doesn’t want to admit how relieving that is.

* * *

You have to trust your team, that’s what Coran and Allura are trying to hammer into their heads. To become Voltron, you have to trust your team completely.

But Lance can’t.

He hides it better than Pidge. When he envisions his family - completely human and missing one - he doesn’t let that image flicker. That’s all there is, that’s what he lets them think. Hunk knows better, Hunk knows that Adam isn’t there. But Pidge’s image falls apart and Hunk doesn’t have time to question him.

You have to trust your team.

But would they trust him, if they knew what Lance has known all along?

* * *

It’s supposed to end with an explosion.

Lance didn’t plan for things to end here, not really. But that is not Rover and Coran is too close. It takes a split second to act, a split second to decide. 

If this is how things end, Lance can accept that. His secrets will die with him. He’ll never get to see Matt again, he’ll never get to see his family again. But Lance can die with that. 

It’s supposed to end with an explosion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Voltron, because I like changing perspectives. Should hopefully be out in the next couple of days
> 
> By the by, if you like my writing I do these [daily LGBT+ drabbles on tapas](https://tapas.io/series/Rainbow-Scribe)


	3. Shiro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha did I say it was Voltron next chapter? Whoops turns out _everyones getting their own chapter_. This just keeps getting long. I am having heaps of fun writing these characters again though.
> 
> Also I have something new to plug! [My website](https://kailsmusings.wixsite.com/kailsmusings), which has some of my original writing posted for free if you wanna check that out.
> 
> Unbeta'd because I'm lazy.

It all starts with a choice.

It’s not much of a choice, really. There’s only one option. 

That doesn’t make it any easier.

“Your friend doesn’t look like he’ll last much longer.” The galra of Shiro’s nightmares starts, stalking past Shiro’s crumbled form to Lance’s unconscious one. 

“Leave him alone.” Shiro croaks, glaring up at Sendak. He knows it’s not very intimidating - he’s still occasionally spasming with electricity and his throat is torn from screaming - but he has to try.

“It’ll be a miracle if he makes it back to the emperor alive.” Sendak continues, ignoring Shiro’s weak protests. “Perhaps, if you tell your green paladin to hand themselves in, I’ll have him paced in a healing pod.” There’s the choice. 

For a moment, Shiro is foolish enough to consider it, but only for a moment. Even if Sendak does let Lance heal, once the castle takes off they’re all goners and if Pidge hands herself in, the castle  _ will _ take off.

It’s not much of a choice. 

The refusal still gets stuck in his throat.

“I won’t do it.” Shiro eventually manages, pointedly not looking at Lance as he says it. Pidge will save them, he has to believe that.

“No?” Sendak asks, his smirking spreading. He was hoping Shiro would refuse, the Black Paladin is sure of it. “Well, if you want the boy to die…” The galra trails off, pressing his weapon into Lance’s chest. With the touch of a button, electricity shoots through the Blue Paladin’s body.

“Stop!” Shiro screams, fighting uselessly against his binds. The pain pulls Lance back into consciousness long enough to scream before his eyes roll back into his bead.

Sendak does not stop.

A different kind of spark joins the weapon, drawing Shiro’s yes to Lance’s watch. His lucky watch, he says. Not very lucky after all, Shiro can’t help but think absurdly. He might’ve succumbed to hysteria or shock right then if something more pressing hadn’t caught his attention.

The tips of Lance’s fingers are trying purple.

No.

No, no, no, no, no. They’re too late.  _ They can’t be too late _ .

But as the purple spreads further up Lance’s arm, Shiro realizes something isn’t right. That’s not how human bodies work. 

Moreover, Lance isn’t just turning purple. He’s growing fur.

“Impossible.” Sendak jerks his weapon away and Lance’s body goes still. 

“What did you do to him?” Shiro demands, trying to scramble towards Lance.

“This was not my doing.” Sendak snaps, like Shiro has hit a nerve. The black paladin is too distracted to notice. Sendak turns back towards the control panel. “What you see before you is still the blue paladin, the real blue paladin. It seems your little friend will survive the trip after all. Emperor Zarkon has ordered he be captured alive.”

“What are you talking about?” Shiro frowns, mind reeling. The real blue paladin? Zarkon has ordered he be  _ captured _ ?

“Didn’t he tell you? What a trustworthy team you’ve made for yourself Champion.” Sendak mocks. “Your precious blue paladin is galra. A disgrace and a traitor, but galra all the same. I should have known Viren would join this pathetic resistance.”

“That’s not possible.” Shiro mutters. Yet the boy beneath him is clearly galra - completely purple, with large bat-like ears and fangs. There is no hint of the human boy who’d shake his hand just days ago. The sound of Lance’s (Viren’s?) lucky watch beeping makes Shiro jump, bumping the deceive. Within seconds Lance’s human appearance returns. 

What the hell?

* * *

It doesn’t change with Viren.

Not then, at least. As they wait for rescue, Shiro has time to commute what Sendak said. Lance is galra, yes, but he’s a galra traitor. There’s a story there and Shiro isn’t going to draw conclusions without it, but he isn’t going to ask Sendak for it either. 

So he waits.

He says nothing as Lance heals and he says nothing as Lance catches up. It’s only once he’s sure things have settled that he decides to pull Lance aside and ask.

“Do you really remember nothing about Sendak’s invasion?” Shiro asks once they’re alone, in a room that appears to be mostly storage. 

“I don’t remember anything.” Lance answers, starting to sound worried. He moves his hand to cover his watch and, when he notices Shiro looking, he clenches his jaw. “Did something happen?” Definitely worried. Shiro takes a deep breath. There’s no easy way to say this, best to rip it off like a bandaid.

“While you were unconscious, Sendak attacked us with a weapon that channeled electricity.” He starts. Lance was worried before, now he looks terrified. “Your watch malfunctioned.”

“Then you,” Lance tries, voice dry. Swallowing, he tries again. “You know?”

“I haven’t told anyone.” Shiro assures, because Lance looks like he’s on the verge of a panic attack.

“You haven’t?” Lance repeats, hesitantly. “Why not?”

“It’s not my secret to tell.” Shiro says. “Besides, I don’t know the whole story. All I know right now is that your name is Viren, and you’re a traitor to the galra.” Lance stares at him for a moment before his shoulders drop, not in relief but resignment.

“That is the whole story, pretty much.” He mumbles. “I was born Viren, I’m galra. What more is there to know?”

“What made you a traitor?” Shiro asks.

“I stole a weapon, or two technically. They weren’t of the re-makable kind.” Lance shrugs.

“And you got away with it?” Shiro can’t help but voice his surprise. He might only remember bits and pieces of his captivity, but he remembers the endless reach of the galra. They were always watching, no one got away with anything. And Lance is saying he stole two high ranking weapons? There has to be more to it. But the blue paladin just shrugs again.

“Earth’s a lowest class planet, it’s not even on any maps. Or it wasn’t then. It wasn’t meant to have a piece of Voltron on it.” He says. Shiro takes a moment to fully comprehend what Lance is telling him. He’s not sure what he expected when Sendak said Lance was a galra traitor, but it wasn’t this.

Unfortunately, Lance misunderstands his silence.

“Do you want me to leave now? Or can I pack first?” He asks.

“What?” Shiro frowns. “Lance, I don’t want you to leave.”

“Why not? I’m the enemy.” Lance spits the words but Shiro can tell the tone isn’t directed at him.

“Zarkon is the enemy, Sendak is the enemy. Not you, never you.” He assures.

“But I’m galra, like them.” Lance argues.

“And I’m human, that doesn’t make me just as bad as the worst humans. It’s never that black and white.” Shiro says.

“Can you say that to me now?” Lance asks. With a touch of his watch, his human facade fades away. Yellow eyes glare at Shiro, fully expecting him to recall from the sight. 

He doesn’t. Those eyes may resemble Sendak’s, but Shiro can see the sadness in them. 

“You are not the enemy Lance.” He says firmly, keeping eye contact the whole time. “You’re a paladin of Voltron, you’ve been a paladin longer than any of us.” Lance, his eyes starting to water, takes two steps forward and clings to Shiro.

* * *

The night after Sendak takes over the ship, Shiro doesn’t bother sleeping. Even if he manages to shut his eyes, he knows he’ll fall into nightmares. Nightmares that will leave him panting and covered in swear, even though he won’t remember them. There’s so many gaps in his memory, gaps that claw at him whenever he thinks of Sendak.

So no, Shiro doesn’t bother sleeping that night.

Instead he patrols. He walks the whole ship, trying to convince his mind that he’s  _ allowed _ to do this. There’s no prison cell here, no guards ready to take the ‘champion’ down a peg for stepping out of line. He can go wherever he’d like.

Easier thought than believed.

Eventually his patrolling leads him to the very pod he’d ejected Sendak from hours earlier, and to the figure sitting on the floor across from it.

“Lance?” Shiro frowns as he recognizes the startled shadow. “What are you doing here?”

“I, uh, I couldn’t sleep.” Lance admits sheepishly. “You?”

“Me neither.” Shiro says. It’s a little more complicated than that, for the both of them he thinks. “Mind if I sit?” Shiro asks, doing just that when Lance shakes his head. Lance offers half his blanket and for a moment they just stare at the empty pod. The silence is soon too much for Shiro to handle.

“It’s been quite a day, huh?” He says.

“Understatement of the decapheep.” Lance says with a tired laugh, leaning back into the wall.

“How are you holding up?” Shiro asks. 

“I’m okay.” He says. “I think I’m getting used to almost dying.”

“I don’t think that’s a good thing.” Shiro frowns.

“Probably not.” Lance agrees. “Are you any different?” Shiro opens his mouth but stops. No, he supposes he’s not.

“It’s been quite a year.” He sighs instead.

“Are you okay?” Lance asks softly. Softly enough that Shiro decides to answer honestly, for once.

“I don’t know.” He says. “I don’t remember most of the bad, but it’s like I still feel it. I’m hoping if I just stay focused on Voltron I won’t.” 

“I’m sorry.” Lance offers. “You didn’t get a chance to recover before we got thrown into all this.”

“Don’t be sorry, I’m actually kind of glad.” Shiro admits. “I don’t… I don’t know how well I’d have done on Earth.” Actually he knows he wouldn’t have done well. Nothing to focus on and… and No Adam. God. God that was such a mess he just left, for no good reason, and now the thought of trying to fix it…

He would not have done well on Earth.

“You okay there?” Lance frowns. “Your face just went, like, really sour.”

“I’m fine.” Shiro says, shaking his head. “I’m just…” Hesitating a moment, Shiro takes a deep breath and decides Lance was honest and open with him, it’s only fair he be honest and open back. “I was in a relationship before Kerberos, with a man named Adam. I really messed things up before I left.”

“Yeah, um, about that…” Lance says, letting out an awkward laughs. “I know?”

“What do you mean?” Shiro frowns, looking over.

“Well you know how I ran away to Earth and all? The McClains took me in and Adam’s sort of my brother?” Lance explains, sounding almost unsure. 

“...What?” Is all Shiro can manage. Adam talked fairly often about his family, but also pushed against the idea of Shiro meeting them. He’d never given a very clear answer on  _ why _ he was so against it, even when they were planning their wedding (even the thought of it hurts). 

“He didn’t want us to meet you until you knew about the whole alien thing.” Lance continues. “Which, fair, there’s no way no one would mention it. But then he just got too nervous to tell you. He was going to tell you before the wedding but well…” 

“But I went to Kerberos.” Shiro completes. I went to Kerberos and we broke up. Because Shiro couldn’t give up his dreams and Adam couldn’t lose him. 

“Yeah.” Lance sighs.

“So, if you’re his brother, what do you think? Can I fix it?” Shiro asks.

“I don’t know.” Lance answers, unhelpfully. “I mean, he still loves you. A lot. But…” Despite the but, Shiro couldn’t help but smile. Adam still loved him. That was more than he was expecting, really.

“It’s okay.” He says. “If he still loves me then at least I know I can try.” 

“He definitely loves you.” Lance assures.

“So,” Shiro says once he’s gotten over himself, bumping their shoulders together. “Anything else I should know? Is Coran secretly your uncle?” The tease makes Lance laugh slightly.

“No, not that I know of.” He says. “But, uh, there is one thing.”

“Yeah?” Shiro prompts.

“Well…” Lance hesitates, sighing. “Sendak is um, well he’s kind of my dad.” He admits, eyes glued to the empty pod.

“Huh.” Is all Shiro can manage as the information sinks in. This changes things. It changed that night he found out, and it changes Lance’s fear today - trying to pull out of Shiro’s hold as he said ‘i can fix this’.

“Shiro?” Lance prompts, his silence only making Lance’s nerves grow.

“No offense,” Shiro starts, “but your dad’s kind of a dick.” Lance blinks once, twice, and then bursts out laughing.

“He’s a huge asshole.” The blue paladin agrees.

“Oh my god I blasted your dad into space.” Shiro realizes, wincing. “Sorry.”

“Well he tried to blast me into space, so I’d say he deserved it.” Lance brushes off.

“He did what?! When?!” Shiro panics. 

“Did I not mention that?” Lance asks, rubbing the back of his neck. “He almost froze me in a cyropod too.”

“Geez.” Shiro sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Can I shoot your dad into space again?” That gets Lance laughing again and, after a moment, Shiro joins in.

Coran finds them there the next morning, leaning against each other and sound asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am unreasonably proud of how I added some reasonable doubt as to if Lance was Viren or Adam was. Also now I want an AU where Adam is galra.
> 
> Next up: Pidge, in like 2 minutes
> 
> [Second shameless plug to my website](https://kailsmusings.wixsite.com/kailsmusings)


	4. Pidge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had, so much fun writing Pidge. So much. 
> 
> If you like my writing, I now have [a website](https://kailsmusings.wixsite.com/kailsmusings)to keep track of my original work.

It starts with a message on the comms.

The paladins are waiting at camp, just starting to worry, when it happens.

“Guys!” Lance’s voice rings out from their helmets and Hunk immediately jumps up. Okay, so  _ most _ of the paladins were starting to get worried. Hunk has been worried the whole time.

“Lance?! Where are you?” The yellow paladin asks.

“I’m on Nyma’s ship! She kidnapped me, and Blue.” Lance explains.

“I told you they were bad news!” Hunk shouts.

“That’s the important part here?” Keith frowns. If Pidge had to guess, he was about one less Shiro around from saying ‘serves Lance right for sneaking off to flirt’. 

“Lance, we’re on our way.” Shiro assures.

“Hur-” Lance’s voice cuts out. Pidge tenses. A quick tap on her helmet has it trying to reconnect. Nothing. Okay so the communications shut off, that’s fine. It doesn’t mean anything’s happening to Lance. She’ll just hack in and steal the microphone data, she can do that from Green. Easy peasy.  _ Lance is fine. _

It’s a hard thought to think when Hunk is freaking out and they’re all rushing to their lions, a harder thought to think when all she knows exactly how Lance looks when he’s barely breathing. 

Lance steps out of the ship, rubbing his wrists and looking every bit the pissed damsel in distress. Pidge hopes she isn’t as obvious in her relief as Hunk.

“See, we told you he was fine.” Nyma tells the team, like she didn’t just  _ kidnap him _ .

“You’re lucky he is.” Hunk glares, his tone the kind of angry Pidge has only heard a handful of times. All those times have been terrifying.

“We weren’t going to hurt him.” Rolo tries to assure, hands raising in a pacifying way.

“No. You were just going to sell him to the galra, because they definitely wouldn’t have hurt him.” Keith rephrases.

“We were only after the lion.” Nyma says, like that helps. “His bounty was just a lucky find.”

“Bounty?” Pidge repeats. “Why is there a bounty on Lance?” 

“Who cares?” Lance huffs. “It’s probably just that the galra want people that can actually drive the lions or something. Can we leave now? I want to get out of here.” He says it too quickly Pidge notices, just like back at the Garrison when he’d talked his way between her and Iverson. 

Why? What is he hiding?

Looking him over, Pidge decides not to ask. Back in the Garrison she spent a lot of time watching Lance and Hunk, trying to figure out if they were spying on her for Iverson. They weren’t, they really were just that pushy about being friends. But that much observation has taught her things. Like not to push when Lance’s shoulders are just a little too high, just a little too tight.

They all turn to go back into the castle, leaving Rolo, Nyma, and Breezer behind. They’re almost inside when Rolo calls out to them.

“For what it’s worth, I really do think Voltron can stop the galra.” He says. “You’re not just any other rebels.” Pidge watches Lance as he says it, sees the way her friend twitches, and frowns.

What did they do to him?

* * *

Pidge did hack into the ship's microphones, while they were rescuing Lance. And the video footage, once she realized they had that too. She hadn’t needed any of it though, so hadn’t looked. 

But that conversation is still weighing on her, hours after she went to bed. There was something about what Lance said, about how he stood. Something happened, and Pidge  _ needs _ to know what.

The walls between the paladin rooms are thin, thin enough to hear Hunk snoring and Keith training at ungodly hours. Of course the one time Pidge tries to sneak out they’re doing neither and she actually has to try and be quiet as she sneaks to the hanger.

“Hey Green.” She greets her lion, ignoring the rumble of concern about the time. “Can you bring up the files we stole from those moon jerks?” She asks, adding,“I’ll sleep after,” when Green sends more concern her way.

Pidge didn’t have time to be selective before, she just downloaded everything. Thankfully ‘everything’ is just two videos. The first is labeled ‘Cargo Bay’ and the second ‘Holding’. Pidge picks ‘Holding’.

The cameras must not stall much at all because Lance is already in the room when the footage starts. He’s sat against a wall, his arms behind his back and his focus on trying to get the binds.

“Stupid, stupid Lance.” He huffs to himself. “Argh, I know this isn’t going to come off so easy, why am I bothering?” His shoulders slump and his head hits the wall. “How am I going to get out of this one?” His head tilts to the side and his eyes met the camera. After a second, Lance’s expression becomes determined. His shoulders shift again, like he’s moving his arms, and then…

And then the camera freezes.

What?

“What?” Pidge frowns. If she didn’t know better she’d say… but that was impossible. Obviously. He has to have… something, on the wrist of his suit maybe. Or maybe the camera’s are just really bad quality. 

“It’s nice to have some modern tech for once.” Lance mutters. Pidge watches closely but the video footage hasn’t changed at all. Okay so he did mess with it. But not with his mind. Obviously. There was just something she hadn’t seen. 

There’s another moment of silence and then Pidge listens to Lance’s comm call from his side. She tenses, again, when he starts to say ‘hurry’. 

“Shit.” Lance curses. She hears his footsteps scrambling and the sound of something hitting the ground and her heart stops. But the next noise she hears isn’t him screaming, it’s the door opening. Thank god.

“You’re making a mistake.” She hears Lance say.  _ No _ , she wants to scream,  _ don’t agonize them you idiot. _ “Whatever the galra are promising, you won’t get it.”

“Even if we only get half the bounty on your head, we’ll be set for life.” That’s Rolo’s voice. Pidge can hear him walking but the video is still stuck. 

“They won’t give you anything.” Lance claims. “The Empire doesn’t honour it’s bounties.”

“If that were true, someone would have said something about it.” Rolo argues.

“Oh my god are you seriously that stupid?” Lance snaps. Does he just have a deathwish? Actually Pidge doesn’t want to think about that.

“Says the guy that fell for the oldest trick in the business.” Rolo returns.

“Excuse me for trusting supposed rebels, it’s a better bet than trusting the  _ murderous and backstabbing Empire _ .” Lance huffs. Hey, Pidge frowns, he’s sounding really… familiar with the galra. Lance has always been able to talk from nowhere, so she hadn’t noticed it past her concern for his safety but… he doesn’t sound like someone whose only known about the galra for a week.

“You gotta place your bets with the winners.” Rolo says. “You know, the lion’s bounty is enough for us. You could take some credit, maybe get that bounty off your back.” He offers.

“No. Voltron is the universe’s best chance at freedom, I’m not going to hand that over to the empire.” Lance all but growls. “Besides, they want me just as much as they want the lions.” He adds, almost to himself. Huh? But Lance said...

“Not to burst your bubble buddy but you’re just another rebel, even if you’ve got a high bounty. There’s nothing the galra want more than those lions.” Rolo claims.

“I know two things.” Lance mutters. Before Rolo can question him any further, there’s the crackle of an internal intercom turning on.

“Rolo, we’ve got company. The metal feline kind.” Nyma announces.

“You should just give up now. Before my team wrecks your ship for real.” Lance warns.

“Your team’s never going to catch us. I know this sector like the back of my hand.” Rolo says before Pidge hears him leaving.

“You think that but they’re just full of surprises.” Lance tells the empty air, sounding relieved before groaning. “How am I going to explain this bounty thing? God I hope Nyma and Rolo don’t say anything.” The rest of the file is just their battle all over again. Pidge shuts it off.

Lance was lying about the bounty. 

There’s no doubt about it. He knows exactly why he has a bounty.

It’s hard to keep track of time but Pidge is sure they’ve only been in space a few days, maybe a little more than a week. What could Lance have done in a  _ week _ that landed him a bounty they don’t know about?

Nothing. The answer is nothing. 

Pidge’s first instinct is to march to Lance’s room and demand answers. To force him to make sense of all this confusion. But… well that’s not really fair, is it? 

Lance is hiding something but so was Pidge and he never stormed into her room demanding answers. He stormed in plenty to demand games and company and all sorts of things, but never answers. Even though he knew she was hiding something. There were plenty of moments she’d brushed off, times she thought  _ he knows _ only to calm down with nothing came of it. After the way he reacted, she knows he knew. Lance is only that dramatic when he’s trying to be.

It’s only fair she wait for him, the way he waited for her.

“I guess we can’t get answers the easy way Green.” Pidge sighs, then she grins. “But, that doesn’t mean I can’t get them the hard way.” If she can just find Lance’s bounty, she’d know exactly what’s up. Green grumbles, because it’s late and she really should be sleeping, but Pidge brushes her off.

“No time for sleep, only research.” Green can’t argue with that too much.

* * *

The problem is not finding a list of space bounties, no Pidge finds that almost immediately. The problem is understanding the list. 

She can read it just fine, Pidge has yet to find anything in space that  _ doesn’t _ universally translate. Which might be a space thing, or it might be an altean castle thing. Coran didn’t give her a very clear answer when she asked, and she hasn’t risked asking again since.

So no, reading the list is not the problem either.

Pidge can see the names of every bounty, and their picture. She can see the details of their crimes and prices. Everything Pidge expected to be on a bounty is right there.

The problem is that Lance  _ isn’t _ . There isn’t even a single human on the list. 

Which, okay, admittedly she was expecting that. Lance as a human somehow making it off of Earth to do space crime or fight a space war, and then coming back? Yeah, no, it makes way more sense to think Lance isn’t human at all.

The only problem is that - if Lance isn’t human, then what is he? How is she supposed to figure out if she doesn’t know what he is?

Her answer comes in the form of a bounty listing. Searching, one by one, through all bounty’s labeled ‘possible shapeshift’ she comes across an entry that sparks her interest. The very end of the bounty details reads ' Bioscan incomplete. Graph contains scan of a relative '.

“A bioscan, huh?” Pidge wonders aloud before yawning. She hasn’t been able to put much work into this, what with Voltron and saving the universe, which means most of her searching has been too late at night. Gently, Green pushes her to go to bed for that very reason.  _ Ask Coran about bioscanners in the morning _ , she can almost hear Green saying.

* * *

Pidge does ask Coran about bioscanners in the morning. The answer she gets is long and goes on several tangents, but by the end of it she has the idea. Bioscanners are able to take a person’s whole body fingerprint, or a digital representation of their dna. Coran even tells her where they have some old scanners in the castle.

Now all she has to do is get a scan of Lance and she’ll know exactly who he is.

* * *

Galra. 

Lance is Galra. Or Viren is Galra, according to his bounty. Pidge thinks she should be more upset about that then she is but well… there are a lot of Galra with bounties on their heads. Some for things like claiming a planet for themselves instead of Zarkon, but a lot of them are there for being ‘traitors’. For giving prisoners too much food, for helping prisoners escape, for sabotaging supply runs, for spreading ‘propaganda’. It’s hard to think the galra are all evil when you’re staring at a list of the opposite.

What does bother Pidge, however, is the details of the bounty. Instead of listing off a crime it just reads ‘I flipped off Zarkon, and I’d do it again!’

“Damnit Lance.” Pidge groans. “I guess I’m halfway there. I know  _ what _ he is.” She also knows that Rolo was right. The bounty on Lance’s head is a lot.

* * *

It all changes with Beta Traz.

In retrospect, the whole thing is actually hilarious. Pidge doesn’t doubt that Lance knows from the start he doesn’t have Slav. Even if he doesn’t know who Slav is, he has to have some familiarity with the two species they find. Except he can’t tell them that, so he has to bring the yepper along with him. He just did the equivalent of walking a very big, constantly barking dog just to keep his secret. Pidge finds that pretty funny.

But not in the moment.

In the moment, Beta Traz is terrifying. Trying to handle the security system, trying to chase a lead about her brother, constantly fearing they’re all going to die. Yeah. 0/10 would only do once, and only for the evidence that her brother is both alive and out of galra custody.

Which…

That’s a pretty big deal. Pidge is, Pidge is really psyched about that. And only a little bit stressed that now her brother could be  _ anywhere in the universe and also she doesn’t have any idea what happened to her dad. _

Just a little stressed.

“That was all rather statistically improbable!” Slav comments once they’re safely on their way back to the castle. Pidge can just see Shiro’s eye twitching beneath his helmet. “I’m sure plenty of alternate reality versions of myself did not survive.”

“That  _ is  _ how the multiverse theory works.” Obviously. Pidge frowns.

“Please don’t encourage him.” Shiro groans but it’s too late.

“Ah but it’s not a theory!” Slav announces. “The multiverse is quite real, and it is a rather terrifying place. There are universes where you never reach space, and universes where you never became the champion, and universes where you found out much too late. Or asked your father.” Slav says, turning from Pidge, to Shiro, to Lance. If any see the others flinch, they don’t comment.

“I preferred the yepper.” Lance mutters under his breath. By the time they reach the castle, Pidge wholeheartedly agrees.

* * *

Pidge pulls up the Bounty List again a few days later, when she’s had time to build her courage. Coran said the bioscans are like digital dna, and that family members usually have similar ones. So maybe… well, Matt  _ did _ escape from a galra prison so… It’s possible the galra didn’t notice, he’s not a high stakes prisoners but if they did and they want him back well-

Green purrs and Pidge realizes she’s stalling.

“Please work.” She whispers. Scanning herself, she searches for a similar bioscan.

There’s only one result.

A rebel leader of an unknown species. Pidge saw his picture while searching for Lance, a masked figure from a distance. From the picture, he could be anyone.

That’s Matt.

Her brother.

He’s alive.

...and she can’t tell anyone without having to explain why she was looking at bounties. Shit.

“It’s not like you could find him off this away.” Pidge reminds herself. “Not unless someone adds information to his page.” Which would be bad, because it would mean someone was going after her brother.

Pidge flags it anyway, just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The best friends are the ones so pushy that you think they're spies.  
> Which is why I'm so sad there's no real Hunk and Pidge interaction in this chapter. Hunk deserves better.
> 
> Also did it ever bother anyone else that Pidge's saving Matt episode just sort of came out of nowhere? Because it bothered me and so I changed it.
> 
> Next up: Keith, hopefully in the next couple days


	5. Hunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I say it was Keith next? It's actually Hunk. Whoops. I swear I have the layout of this fic figured out... now.
> 
> Unbeta'd because again, I'm lazy. But its also like 1am so possibly worse spelling errors than normal. Let be know if somethings unreadable.
> 
> And speaking of letting me know, I'm thinking of maybe doing a full Voltron rewrite because of mostly discord related reasons but I'm wanting peoples opinions. [Check out more details here.](https://boredomsmuse.tumblr.com/private/621272854354378752/tumblr_tQfS9mNPZoPUY3WHt)

It all starts with the little things.

Lance is always looking over his shoulder, those first few weeks in the Garrison. He looks like someone that expects to be caught. Even though they haven’t been around long enough to have done anything wrong. Even though Hunk learns pretty quickly that Lance never expects to be caught, even when he’s sneaking out of the Garrison to go dancing.

Maybe it’s imposter syndrome, Hunk thinks on nights when he can’t sleep and he has nothing better to do. It’s hard to get into the Garrison, maybe Lance doesn’t feel like he deserves it. Hunk’s certainly felt that way alot.

That explanation stands, until Hunk sees Lance when he’s  _ actually _ insecure. Lance doesn’t get jumpy when he’s insecure, he goes still. So still and quiet that it’s actually terrifying. 

Hunk eventually decides it’s because of Lance’s family. The McClain’s are All Stars at the Garrison and that’s a lot to live up to, so Lance keeps it as quiet as possible. That’s probably why he was so worried at the start of the term.

It makes sense, but it still doesn’t feel  _ right _ to Hunk.

* * *

There are other little things. Like how Lance  _ never _ takes off his watch. Even when he sleeps. Or the panicked expression he gets sometimes when he’s on the phone with his family, suddenly looking between the screen and Hunk even though he  _ knows _ Hunk can’t speak Spanish.

There are bigger little things too.

Like Pidge.

The first time they meet, Lance goes still. It’s just for a second, it’s not long enough for anyone else to notice. But Hunk is Lance’s best friend, he’s fine tuned to notice any moment his friend spends still. For a split second there, right as they turn to Pidge, Lance just  _ stops _ .

Maybe if it stopped there Hunk would let it slide, write it off as Lance being surprised Pidge was  _ right there _ . But it doesn’t stop there.

Pidge has an obsession with space and the Kerberos mission and a lot of things they probably shouldn’t be messing with. Lance will be the first to stand up for him, to get between Pidge and Iverson or any other teacher that Pidge is in prime range of upsetting. That’s not too big a deal, it’s Lance. He’d stick his neck out for anyone. Sure, he’s a little over protective of Pidge but, well, the guy’s tiny and has a detention wish. At best.

The big deal is that Lance is also the first to shut him down. Never so abundantly, that’d be too obvious. But whenever Kerberos comes up, Lance tries to stir the conversation somewhere else. 

“Okay, what’s the deal?” Hunk eventually asks one night, after Lance has found too many ways to distract Hunk and Pidge from their talk about intergalactic radio signals. 

“What do you mean?” Lance returns, blinking innocently when Hunk narrows his eyes. 

“Since when do you have something against space?” He says, blunt as possible so Lance can’t get out of it. “I mean, we’re literally here to learn how to go  _ to space _ , and I thought you  _ wanted _ to go to Kerberos. But anytime Pidge brings it up it’s all suddenly ‘oh hey guys it’s taco tuesday, hey when should we go into town next, do you think there’ll be a pop quiz today’. What’s up with that Lance?” For a moment his best friend stares at him, surprised. Then his shoulders drop and he looks away.

“There’s… something I haven’t told you.” He mumbles, staring down at his watch. So still and quiet. Suddenly worried, Hunk takes a seat on the bed next to Lance.

“Whatever it is, you can tell him.” Hunk assures. 

“Right.” Lance mumbles. He stares down at his watch for another minute but Hunk doesn’t push. It’s clear that, whatever this is, it’s hard for him to say. Eventually Lance’s arms return to his sides, watch hiding out of sight. 

“I uh, you know Matt Holt? One of the scientists on the Kerberos flight.” He eventually says.

“I remember.” Hunk nods.

“I sort of knew him.” Lance mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away. “Not sort of. We met when we were kids and well, we were dating. Before Kerberos.”

“Oh.” Is all Hunk can manage as realization dawns. 

“Yeah.” Lance sighs. “I just… I guess it just bothers me when Pidge treats it like a conspiracy theory.” That’s a lie. Hunk knows that just as surely as he knows Lance wasn’t lying about Matt. There’s something else bothering Lance.

But Hunk doesn’t push. Lance will tell him when he’s ready. Until then, Hunk will hold his friend close. He’ll prove, in actions and in words, that Hunk doesn’t care what Lance is hiding. 

* * *

He doesn’t have time to notice the way Lance pales when Pidge is talking about radio chatter. Or the fear in Lance’s eyes when they see Shiro. It won’t be until later that Hunk will realize Pidge’s ‘girlfriend’ was actually a photo of her and Matt. 

Things like that just slip the mind when you get plunged into a ten-thousand year old war.

* * *

Eventually, all the little things add up.

Or at least that’s how Hunk likes to think about it. It sounds much smarter than ‘I overheard an alien and now everything makes sense’. Even if that is, technically, what happens.

It happens after they’ve saved the foribians - a race of humanoid creatures with bird-like features and a rare ability. Foribians with purple feathers in their wings are able to see the future. Or snippets of a potential future, really, as it centres around a certain object or person.

Hunk sees one of these purple-feathered foribians leading Lance away and he gets curious. Usually Lance is the life of their post-planetary rescue parties, but this time he’s been really quiet. If Hunk didn’t know any better, he’d say Lance was avoiding the foribians. Which he is, even if Hunk can’t figure out why. 

Which is why, when he sees Lance actually following on, he  _ has _ to follow. He’s allowed to be worried. Lance doesn’t exactly have the best track record with the whole not getting himself into dangerous situations thing.

“I wanted to thank you Blue Paladin.” The foribian tells Lance, once the two are far enough away from the party that no one will overhear them. Except Hunk.

“There’s really nothing to thank me for.” Lance says, brushing off the praise with an awkward laugh. “Just, you know, doing my job.”

“There is plenty to thank you for.” The foribian claims, a knowing smile on their face. “I have looked into your future, Viren of Earth.” Who now? Hunk doesn’t recognize the name but, from the way Lance tense, the Blue Paladin must.

“I thought you didn’t do that without permission.” He mumbles, arms crossed over his chest.

“Not normally.” The foribian agrees. “But I felt drawn to you. For good reason, I see. In you, I see a future in which our prince returns to us.” There who now? No one mentioned anything about a prince.

Once again, Lance seems to share none of Hunk’s confusion.

“How do you know I can bring him back?” Lance mumbles. “I mean, I don’t even know if we can survive this. Let alone get home to tell my brother ‘oh hey your planet’s not being ransacked by my people anymore, you’re welcome’!” 

Hunk frowns, confusion only growing. What’s Lance talking about? Why does he sound so… frustrated?

“They may be your kind, but they are not your people.” The foribian assures, shaking his head. “In every possible future, I see that Prince Adam knows that. I see that your friends know that too.”

Okay, Adam Hunk knows. Hunk’s met Adam. Except, Hunk was pretty sure Adam was human. But apparently not. Okay, sure. 

But what’s all this talk about ‘your people’? Unless…

Hunk’s eyes widen as he finally gets it. It makes so much  _ sense _ . Lance is an alien. From outer space.  _ Holy smokes _ .

Man how come Lance didn’t tell him? Having an alien best friend is awesome! The bragging rights have definitely gone down now that they’re literally in space, but still! Alien best friend!

Hunk needs to tell someone. Immediately.

Completely forgetting about the conversation he was just eavesdropping on, Hunk hurries back to the party hall. 

“Pidge!” He calls, ducking through the aliens. “Pidge! There you are!” He announces as he finds her by the refreshments table. 

“I’ve been here the whole time.” Pidge points out, raising an eyebrow at Hunk. She’s always at the refreshment table at parties. Trying out all the different foods ‘for science’ and definitely not to avoid interacting with anyone.

“I have something I  _ have _ to tell you!” Hunk grins and then stops. He side eyes the foribians gathered around them, their eyes having been drawn by Hunk’s loud and hurried search. “But not here.” Hunk decides. Pidge protests but can do nothing as Hunk drags her off into a hall. Not the same one as Lance, but hopefully one just as secluded. Or, more secluded really. 

“Okay, what is it already?” Pidge huffs, finally pulling free of Hunk’s hold. “This had better be good.”

“You’re never going to believe this.” Hunk grins. “Lance is an  _ alien _ .” Pidge blinks. Once, twice, and then tilts her head to the side.

“You only just figured that out?” She asks.

“Wait, you knew?!” Hunk gapes.

“Well yeah, I found his bounty page like, weeks ago dude. After the Nyma thing.” Pidge reveals. Even that name still makes Hunk cringe.

“Does that mean the rest of us  _ don’t _ have bounties?” Hunk frowns. “Man, I’ve been so worried about that!”

“Just Lance, as fair as I can tell.” Pidge shrugs. “I think he hacked into the page too, because I can’t even tell what he did.”

“What does it say he did?” Hunk asks.

“Stuck the middle finger up at Zarkon.” Pidge says. She tries to look annoyed but Hunk knows she’s just as amused as he is.

“That sounds like Lance.” Hunk laughs. 

“Or Viren.” Pidge says, rolling her eyes. “That’s what his bounty says his name is anyway.”

“Viren? The foribian guy called him that too. Viren of Earth.” Hunk says.

“That’s a weird thing to call someone whose galra.” Pidge frowns.

“Wait, he’s galra?!” Hunk exclaims although, now that he’s thinking about the conversation from earlier, that makes a lot of sense. “I guess that explains why he didn’t say anything.” He adds, mumbling.

“Yeah.” Pidge sighs. “I haven’t told him I know. I figure I should wait for him to tell us.” Hunk nods.

“I think he might freak out if he knows we found out.” He says. “And it doesn’t really change anything.” 

“That’s what I thought.” Pidge agrees. “Did you seriously not know? I thought for sure you would.”

“I mean I noticed some things were weird about him, but I never pushed!” Hunk defends. 

“Well at least I’ve got one up on someone.” Pidge sighs. “It was starting to annoy me that I can’t figure out what Lance did to get a bounty like that.”

“Haha, yeah you got this one before me.” Hunk wonders if she knows Matt and Lance were dating.

* * *

Another reason that Lance didn’t tell him, Hunk realizes later, is that his first reaction to finding out his best friends biggest secret was to immediately tell someone. Which, you know, probably doesn’t say good things about him. 

In his defence, it  _ was _ only Pidge. She’s not just anyone, she’s part of their trio. Two parts of the trio can’t know something without telling the other.

Except that Pidge and Hunk both know Lance is galra and they aren’t telling him…

So it’s not a perfect metaphor! Or even technically a metaphor at all!

The point is that Hunk only did it that once.

Except that he almost does it twice.

It would be  _ so easy _ , Hunk thinks as he and Keith ride towards the Weblum. He could blurt it out right now. Lance is galra too. He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t. That would be a huge betrayal to his best bro, and probably cause some tension that the team really doesn’t need right now.

But also, hear him out, Keith is not doing great right now. Which is an understatement. A very big understatement. 

They were doing really well before all this. At least Hunk thinks they were. Shiro and Lance did have that weird fight right before they met the blade but other than that they were doing really well! The team was coming together and even the token lone wolf was starting to open up!

Whatever progress they made is gone now. Keith’s tucked tightly in his shell and Allura’s acting as high and mighty as she did when they first met. No one else cares, not even Coran, but Keith’s clearly taken Allura’s attitude the hardest. 

Worse yet, he’s blaming himself for it! Like he had any control over being galra! 

Hunk doesn’t like it and he only has one thought on how to fix it. Because maybe if Keith knows he isn’t the only galra on the team, he’ll feel better. Then maybe if Lance and Keith talk about both being galra, they’ll  _ both _ feel better. 

Except Hunk knows that’s a terrible idea. It’s not his place to tell Lance’s secrets (again) and he really doesn’t think Lance wants Keith to know. Maybe it’s because of Allura’s reaction, maybe it’s because of something Hunk can’t possibly know because  _ Lance hasn’t told him _ -

“Are you alright?” Keith frowns, noticing the way Hunk is all but bouncing in his seat.

“Yep!” Hunk claims, trying to steady his fidgeting. “Totally great!” Keith doesn’t buy it, his frown only deepening.

“If you don’t want to go on this mission with me I get it.” Keith says. “I can go alone.”

“What?” Hunk frowns. “No way, you heard Coran this thing is dangerous! I’m not letting you go alone.”

“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” Keith mumbles, looking back out the lion’s eyes and to space.

“Dude, no. No no no. Nuh-uh.” Hunk tsks, shaking his head. “You don’t get to bring that negative mindset out here.” 

“Huh?” 

“Allura’s wrong.” Hunk says firmly, startling Keith enough to look at him again. “She’s super wrong. I don’t care that you’re galra and neither does everyone else. Like I get that Allura’s messed up and bad things happened to her, but you didn’t do those things. She doesn’t get to treat you like you did.”

“But-”

“No butts mister.” Hunk glares as he says it, finger raised in Keith’s direction. “Galra Keith is a cool dude and he’s my friend, you don’t get to be mean to him.”

“...What?” Keith says, confused.

“You were about to say something mean about Galra Keith, weren’t you?” Hunk asks.

“What are you even-”

“Weren’t you?” Hunk presses.

“I guess?” Keith eventually manages. “I was just going to say-”

“Nope. Nothing. You’re going to say nothing, because I think Galra Keith is great.” Hunk says. For a moment Keith just stares and then he smiles. A tiny smile, with a little laugh to it. 

“Okay, okay.” He gives in. “I won’t say anything mean about Galra Keith.” He agrees.

“Good. Cause I like that guy.” Hunk nods. They focus back on their flying for a moment before Hunk speaks up again. “I like Keith too, you know. Obviously, because they’re the same person.”

“Thanks Hunk.” Keith says, squeezing his shoulder for a second. 

Huh, Hunk thinks. Maybe he can make this better without revealing Lance’s secrets. Lance is going to be so glad.

...you know, when Lance eventually tells them he’s galra and Hunk can tell him things like this.

* * *

It all changes with a battle.

A battle that ends with an empty lion and a shattered team.

How are they meant to fix this?

Hunk doesn’t know, but he tries. He sits with Pidge, quietly helping her code as she deals with loss of another brother. He makes the rounds with food goo, sighing whenever he realizes Keith or Allura have skipped a meal. At night he reminds everyone to get some sleep, even when he knows they won’t.

Lance does whatever Hunk can’t. Like training with Keith, and bullying the other paladins into  _ actually  _ getting some sleep. Coran does what they both can’t - making sure Allura rests.

That’s good, Hunk thinks, except who’s looking after Lance?

He and Coran are holding themselves together, with help from each other and the Blue Paladin. They’re managing alright.

Lance is not.

He’s not sleeping, Hunk can tell, and he’s spending too much time tucked around in Black’s hanger. Hunk isn’t sure what he can do, and that’s all the more frustrating because he  _ should _ know. He normally does.

But this isn’t a Lance that Hunk has seen before. This Lance takes complicated altean equipment without so much as a half-baked explanation. This Lance calls the Blade himself, like he’s comfortable with them. This Lance stands his ground against Allura.

This isn’t the Lance that Hunk knows, this is Viren. The Viren that Lance has locked away from him.

It hurts.

Which is silly because it shouldn’t hurt. Hunk  _ knew _ Lance was hiding something. Why should it bother him so much that Lance isn’t hiding anymore?

Except he is hiding still. He still puts on his old mask to bake with Hunk and sit with Pidge, to spar with Keith and clean with Coran. It’s still there, plain as day. It’s just cracked. And Lance isn’t asking for help and Hunk doesn’t know how to help.

So Hunk does the only thing he can.

He waits for Lance to reach out. Even if that means sitting at Black’s feet every night while his best buddy is up there doing who knows what kind of alien things in his desperate search for their missing teammate.

“Hunk? What are you doing here?” Hunk startles out of his half-sleep to find Keith staring down at him, frowning.

“Uh, what are  _ you  _ doing here?” Hunk returns the question, not quite awake enough to think of something better.

“I just… had a weird dream.” Keith admits. “I felt like I needed to check something with Black.”

“That’s great!” Hunk grins. “That means you’re getting a connection, right?”

“Maybe.” Keith mumbles. It’s been an added point of tension, Black’s refusal to pick a new pilot. “So why are you here?”

“Uh…” Hunk says as he looks for an answer. “I also had a weird dream?” Keith raises an eyebrow but doesn’t argue.

“Did you want to come in with me then?” Keith offers.

“No, no I’m good down here.” Hunk refuses quickly.

“Alright.” Keith shrugs, moving to step into Black’s waiting mouth. Hunk watches him and then jumps when he remembers that Lance is up there, doing very not human Lance things. Probably.

“Ah, wait!” He says, jumping up. “Are you sure your dream meant you should head  _ inside  _ Black? Maybe it just wanted you to look.”

“No.” Keith says, that eyebrow still raised. “I definitely need to go inside.” Hunk should really protest more, or at least chase after Keith. Maybe give Lance some kind of signal. But something holds him back.

Black, he realizes a minute later when the Lion’s eyes light up. 

Should he wait for them to come down, Hunk wonders. Keith already knows he’s here. 

But… well, they probably have a lot to talk about. He should give them time to figure out what’s going on with Black. 

Hoping he’s making the right choice, Hunk heads to bed.

* * *

Two Black Paladins. That’s what’s going on with Black.

“Honestly, I don’t think either of us are ready to lead.” Lance starts. 

“So, we figure we’ll switch out. When we need to.” Keith finishes. Neither sounds very confident but Hunk grins.

“I think this is wonderful.” Coran announces. 

“It still leaves us one Paladin short.” Allura points out.

“A problem we can solve when we need to.” The elder altean says. “You may find it easier to connect with Red or Blue, depending on the situation.”

“I guess it makes sense.” Pidge shrugs. “Together you make one Shiro in a trenchcoat.” It still hurts, a little, to hear his name but all the humans manage a laugh. 

It’s not until later, when Lance and he are alone, that Hunk feels the sombre mood come back.

“You okay?” He asks.

“...Are you sure I should do this?” Lance mumbles. “I mean, I’m no Shiro. Wouldn’t Keith be better on his own?”

“Lance, Black choose the both of you.” Hunk reminds. “Besides, I think you’ll be a great leader. You were back in the Garrison.” That doesn’t cheer Lance up the way he was hoping.

“A leader should trust their team.” Lance says. “And I trust you. All of you, really. But… but there’s something I haven’t told you. I don’t think I can.” 

_ I already know _ , Hunk wants to say,  _ I don’t care _ . He thinks that might freak Lance out.

“It’s okay.” Hunk says. “I’ll follow you anywhere Lance, no matter your secrets. I know Pidge feels the same.” Lance lets out a deep breath, his shoulders slumping.

“Thanks Hunk.” He says, tone still quiet but no longer a mumble.

“Always Lance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another mention of that [Voltron rewrite I might do if there's interest](https://boredomsmuse.tumblr.com/private/621272854354378752/tumblr_tQfS9mNPZoPUY3WHt)
> 
> Also next up: Keith, for real this time. Hopefully in a couple days


	6. Keith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a little bit longer than a few days, whoops. In my defence it's also longer than the othre character chapters. 
> 
> Also I've been working on some original stuff, which you can check my [twitter](https://twitter.com/KailsMusings) or my website for updates on
> 
> Oh, btw there's some big canon retcons in this chapter, more explaination at the end

It all starts with a fight.

But then, what doesn’t? He’s been fighting all his life - with his father, his classmates, his teachers, himself. At this point, he’s not sure he knows anything else.

Except this time he’s not the one fighting.

Keith is walking the halls of the castle in a daze, trying to come to terms with what happened. Not his heritage, he’s been suspecting that for a while now. It’s Allura’s reaction that has him staring at his feet, walking without thinking.

It’s stupid. He should have known this would happen.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Keith startles, looking towards the voice. He’s ended up by Blue’s hanger, somehow. Lance had said he was doing a ‘lion pampering night’ but he usually does those alone, so who is he talking to?

“The boy has a Mamora weapon, what was I supposed to do?” Is that Kolivan? Frowning, Keith looks into the hanger and confirms that yes, that is Kolivan. What’s he doing in the hanger? Allura had all but forbidden it. 

Wait, are they talking about him?

“I don’t know, ask him where he got it maybe?” Lance huffs. The scene looks so… off. Kolivan is as stiff and intimidating as ever, that makes sense. But Lance? He’s glaring at the galra, with his arms crossed over his chest and an expression that’s angrier than Keith has ever seen from him. 

Did Keith miss something? Lance got along just fine with the Blade members before, right? And  _ why _ are they talking about him?

“I did ask.” Kolivan claims. “The Red Paladin claimed he’d had it all his life but The Black Paladin couldn’t confirm that.” 

“Shiro has  _ memory problems _ .” Lance argues. “Him not remembering something is the opposite of confirmation.” 

Oh. Keith hadn’t thought of that. He’d just thought that… well he wasn’t sure what he thought really. That Shiro had forgotten his knife, that Shiro thought he was capable of stealing - or worse. Whatever Keith had been thinking, it had  _ hurt _ . This… is a much nicer thought.

“Then what?” Kolivan asks, rubbing the bridge of his noses. It’s as odd to see as Lance’s anger. They haven’t known the Blade long but in all that time, Kolivan’s expression has never never changed. Seeing even frustration seems to… open for the man. “I was just meant to take The Red Paladin’s word for it? You know that is not how we do things Viren.”

Viren?

“You could have called, or you could have sent him back and waited for one of us to explain. You didn’t have to put him on a death trial!” Lance snaps. 

A death trial? Kolivan had said it was a test of his heritage. Or was it just the blade that tested his heritage? Either way, how would Lance know? And who the hell is Viren?

“All your options would have left us vulnerable.” Kolivan claims. “Perhaps  _ you _ should have been the one to meet with us. There would have been no confusion or hesitance if I’d realized you were already involved.”

Okay, what? Can they just say  _ one thing _ that makes sense? Just one!

“I tried.” Lance huffs. “Shiro didn’t think it was a good idea. He knows, but not everything, and I wasn’t about to just… blurt it out in front of everyone.”

That  _ almost _ makes sense. Lance and Shiro had argued about Lance going in Keith’s place and Keith had thought it was weird. Like they were only having half of it outloud. Was this (whatever this is) why?

Kolivan’s expression turns soft and Keith starts considering that maybe he’s dead. Maybe he died during the trial and this is actually his mind in it’s last moments, giving him a fantasy to live out. If that’s the case, he thinks it’s a bit unfair that Allura hates him now. It probably says something about his own self-image.

“You should trust your team.” The Blade leader says.

“I do trust them.” Lance argues and then his anger melts away into a frown. “I just… I mean, you saw how Allura reacted.”

“The Altean princess has been through much, and been at war a long time. I imagine she had broken things into black and white to help cope.” Kolivan claims. “She’ll come around in time.”

“Will she?” Lance echoes Keith’s thoughts. “And even if she does, it’s not the same. I mean… Keith’s not...” He trails off and Keith doesn’t get it but Kolivan does. The galra steps forward and pulls Lance into a hug.

He’s definitely dead, Keith decides and then quickly walks off before he can grow even more confused.

* * *

In the morning, when Keith has realized he’s probably not dead, he considers asking Lance.

It’d be easy enough. Just walk up and say ‘I heard you talking to Kolivan last night. What was that about? Whose Viren?’ Lance will explain that it’s nothing and it makes perfect sense really and that’ll be it. 

But what if he gets mad?

They’re friends, right? Maybe they aren’t as close as Lance and Hunk, or Lance and Pidge, or Keith and Shiro but they’re still friends. He won’t get mad.

(Except Allura did. He hoped it’d be easy, he hoped it’d mean nothing, and now she hates him. Being friends didn’t matter at all.)

“You’re quiet today.” Shiro notes after breakfast. Allura had breakfast alone. Tired, Coran said. They all knew he was lying.

“I’m just thinking.” Keith mumbles.

“Allura just-” Shiro starts but Keith cuts him off.

“Who’s Viren?” He asks. He doesn’t want to talk about Allura and, well, Lance had mentioned Shiro knowing. 

“Viren? Shiro repeats. Looking over, Keith sees his brother has gone stiff. So he does know.

“I overheard Lance and Kolivan talking last night. Kolivan called Lance Viren.” Keith explains. “Do you know what he means?” For a moment Shiro is quiet, frowning to himself, and then he sighs.

“It’s not my secret to tell.” He says. “You should ask Lance.”

Keith doesn’t.

* * *

“You know,” Lance starts one night, a lifetime later, “I never would’ve imagined this.”

“What? You  _ didn’t  _ think we’d fight a space war in robotic cats one day?” Keith returns, smiling when Lance laughs and shoves his arm. It’s getting easier to smile these days, easier to drop his sword and lay on the floor with Lance. Staring up at a projected night sky instead of training all night long.

Some nights he doesn’t even come to the training room anymore.

Most nights he feels guilty about that.

If Keith had just been better, if he’d just trained more, than maybe Shiro would still be here. That thought has kept him from his bed ever since Shiro vanished. But as days turn to weeks turn to months, as he settles into his role as co-pilot for Black...

Keith’s starting to accept that Shiro’s gone. He’s not coming back. Shiro wouldn’t want Keith to waste away in a training room or on a suicide mission. He’d want Keith to move on, even if it hurts.

Smiling’s getting a little easier every day. 

“Nah, I always suspected the space cats.” Lance claims. “I mean this, us.”

“Us?” Keith repeats, frowning. 

“Yeah. You and me, working side by side. Co-leaders of Voltron.” Lance clarifies. “Equals.” He breaths. It’s probably meant to be to himself but Keith has learnt his ears are a lot better than a humans. “I never would have believed it back then. In the days of Keith and Lance, the rivals. Neck and neck.”

“We were never rivals.” Keith rolls his eyes. “We weren’t even in the same classes.”

“We were always rivals.” Lance argues, although he sounds more amused than upset but Keith’s dismissal.

“We weren’t.” Keith repeats. “But we were always equals.” He adds.

They’ve gotten really close these last few months. It was sort of impossible not to, leading Voltron together means they spend a lot of time together. And in that time, Keith’s learnt a lot about the happy-go-lucky once-Blue Paladin.

He’s not so happy-go-lucky for one, especially when he feels like he’s being tested. When Allura’s breathing down his neck or some planetary leader is. He doesn’t think he’s good enough.

Standing next to Keith makes that all the worse for him.

At first Keith figured Lance was like Griffin and a hundred other Garrison Cadets. To them Keith was a goal post - the top of the class kid that everyone wants to bet. 

_ “It’s not like that.” Hunk assured after a particularly bad fight after a particularly bad victory celebration. “It’s mostly Iverson’s fault really.” _

_ “Iverson?” Keith frowned. He hadn’t cared much for his teachers but it was hard to forget a drill segnant like Iverson. _

_ “All he ever did was compare Lance to you, since Lance only got into the fighter program because you left. I guess our classmates weren’t much better either. Lance was just as reckless in the simulators, and people used to say the school traded you for a more annoying version.” Hunk explained. _

_ “Oh.” Was all Keith could think to say. _

_ “You’re not a goalpost to Lance, sometimes he just can’t separate you from his insecurities.” _

_ “Sometimes I can’t separate Lance from mine.” _ Keith hadn’t said it back then, he doesn’t say it now. But he thinks about it alot. 

Because he and Lance are a lot alike, until they’re not. Lance is good with people and he’s good with plans. He knows what to say, he doesn’t stumble over his words, and he doesn’t look awkward. He understands people in ways Keith just can’t comprehend.

_ “That’s why Black chose the both of you.” _ _ Coran said, watching Keith pace and ramble after a mission. Lance was in the healing pod after taking a blast that was aimed at Keith. Another of Keith’s stupid plans, that don’t even count because he doesn’t plan anything. He just rushes in. “You’re two parts of a puzzle, feeling out the others gaps.” _

_ “Shiro wasn’t a puzzle piece.” Keith muttered.  _

_ “Oh he was.” Coran claimed. “But it was different.” _

“I don’t know about that.” Lance says in the present, humming. “You’re always been a lot stronger than I am.”

“Kolivan says the galra have a stronger baseline than humans. It’s not your fault I’m stronger.” Keith assures.

“That’s not what I meant.” Lance claims, rolling his eyes. “I mean you just… do things. You don’t worry. You’re brave.”

“That’s just because I don’t think about it.” Keith says after a moment. “Which would have killed me, several times over, if not for you.”

“Oh I’ve noticed that.” Lance teases. “But that’s not what I mean either.” He adds, sighing. Frowning, Keith turns his head to look at Lance. His eyes look far away.

“Well whatever you mean, I don’t think it’s that simple.” Keith says. 

“Yeah?” Lance says, sounding as distant as his eyes look.

“Things aren’t that black and white.” Keith assures. “We’re equals, we always have been. Even if we’re not the same.” For a moment Lance is silent, then he turns to meet Keith’s eye and he smiles.

“Equals.” He agrees.

* * *

It all changes when Shiro comes back.

Keith should be happy, should be elated, and he is. Really. It’s just…

It’s just he got used to Shiro not being around. He got used to being the leader, to looking to Lance, Hunk, and Pidge.

Having Shiro back just feels… off.

It’s probably just him. 

Maybe he just needs to take a step back.

(He doesn’t notice Lance struggling under the same weight, he doesn’t see Lance reaching out, he doesn’t see Lance crumbling.)

* * *

The thing is, Voltron doesn’t need six pilots and the Blade needs every soldier they can get. It only makes sense for Keith to spend more time helping them these days.

Lance doesn’t agree.

“So you’re just going to leave?” He says, catching Keith just before he’s jumped into his ship.

“The Blade need me for a mission.” Keith answers, not meeting Lance’s eyes. There’s so much tension between them these days. It’s worse than when they first joined Voltron.

But that’s fine, because they don’t both need to pilot Voltron. They don’t  _ need _ to be friends.

_ It’s fine. It’s fine, things are great. Shiro is back. It’s just Keith that feels off, nothing’s wrong. _

“You aren’t even going to say goodbye?” 

“It’s the middle of the night, I’m not going to wake everyone up to say I’m heading out.” Keith rolls his eyes, jumping into his ship. “I need to get going, the mission’s time sensitive.”

“You can’t just run away from your problems Keith!” Lance shouts, making Keith freeze. 

“I’m not running away from anything.” He claims through clenched teeth. “The Blade need help and I can help them.”

“What about your team, huh?” Lance huffs. “What about us?!”

“What about you?” Keith snaps back because Lance has struck a nerve he doesn’t want to admit is there.  _ Things are fine. Nothing is wrong with Shiro. _

“What?” Lance frowns, taking a step back in shock. (Taking a step back like Keith just slapped him).

“You talk about us being a team but you don’t even trust us.” Keith claims. “I mean come on, you think I don’t know? You’re hiding something from us, something huge.”

“It’s, it’s not like that.” Lance stumbles. “I’m not.”

“Yeah, some team we are when you’re lying to my face.” Keith glares. “Don’t lecture me about running away Lance, because whatever you’re doing is worse.” 

He doesn’t look back as he leaves.

_ Everything’s fine. _

* * *

It always comes back to a fight with Keith. Everything starts with a fight and everything ends with a fight. 

“You alright there?” Krolia asks, coming to sit with Keith. “You look like you’re thinking.” Sometimes it still surprises Keith to think that she’s here. His mother, alive and alien. And trapped in a quantum abyss with him for who knows how long. Maybe forever.

“I am.” Keith sighs.

“What about?” Krolia presses.

“The last time I spoke to Lance.” Keith admits. “We had a fight and I’m realizing that might be the last time we ever speak.”

“I’m sure it won’t be.” Krolia says. “We’ll make it through the abyss soon, hardly any time will have passed for your friends.”

“That might be worse.” Keith sighs, laying back against Cosmo. Krolia doesn’t have a counter for that, if the silence is any indication.

“What was the fight about, if you don’t mind me asking?” She finally breaks the silence.

“He said I was running away from my problems.” Keith says. “He was right but I didn’t want to admit it so I snapped back. Said he didn’t have a right to lecture me when he’s keeping huge secrets.” It’s easy now, with these years of separation, to see how Keith messed up. Things weren’t fine, and Lance knew it too. How would things have been different, he wonders, if they’d managed to band together instead of fall apart.

“I see.” Krolia frowns. “Is he hiding something?”

“I think so. Or maybe I just misunderstood.” Keith admits because he really has nothing to go off of, does he? A name and a weird conversation. It could mean anything. “I caught him having a weird conversation with Kolivan once. He called Lance ‘Viren’.”

“Viren?” Krolia repeats. “I didn’t realize he was back.”

“You know that name?” Keith frowns, sitting back up. He’d figured Viren was a secret to everyone. Only Lance, Kolivan, and Shiro seemed to know the name. Keith had never asked Lance about it and the other two refused to say anything about it. “Can you tell me what it means?” For a moment Krolia hesitates, then she nods.

“Viren is something of an honorary Blade.” She says and then continues like that alone isn’t a planet-shattering statement. “Years ago, he stole a pair of incredibly important weapons from right under the Empire’s nose and then went into hiding. I know he kept in touch but I hadn’t heard he’d gotten involved with the war again.”

“Honorary Blade?” Keith repeats. “But that’s not possible. Lance is human. He’s from Earth.” Isn’t he?

“If Lance really is Viren then he’s not human at all.” Krolia says, shaking her head. “Viren is galra.”

Lance is galra.

Lance is  _ galra _ .

_ Lance is galra _ .

No matter how he thinks it, the words struggle to commute. How can Lance be galra?

“He never said anything.” Keith whispers. Even after Keith told them his heritage. Even when Keith could have really, really used knowing he wasn’t alone.

“I’m sorry Keith.” Krolia offers. “I’m sure he has his reasons. Sometimes it’s just better to keep things secret.”

_ Is it?  _ Keith wants to shout.  _ Is it better when I feel like a waste of breath? When being galra makes me feel despicable and evil? When knowing I wasn’t alone could have made it easier to get out of bed? _

Instead of shouting, he just feels numb.

* * *

By the time they make it out of the abyss, only a few days later, Keith still isn’t sure how he feels about Lance being galra. About Lance hiding that he’s galra.

Thankfully, he’s a bit too busy to think about it.

“That’s weird.” He comments when Voltron replies to his message with simple coordinates. No video chat, not even a hello.

“It’s only been a few weeks for them.” Krolia reminds. “They don’t realize how long we’ve been away.”

“I guess…” Keith mumbles. Something still feels wrong to him.

* * *

Something is very, very wrong. Keith knows it the moment they arrive at the castle. 

“Is the castle always this quiet?” Krolia asks as they set their ship down in the hanger.

“No.” Keith says, frowning. “Keep your guard up.”

They do, which is the only reason Keith is prepared to block the alteanian blade that comes sailing at him.

“Lance?!” He frowns at the paladin holding the opposing sword. Lance frowns back before his eyes light up with recognition and his bayard fades.

“Keith?” He says. “What the hell happened? You look…”

“Older?” Keith guesses. “It’s uh, been a long few weeks.”

“Tell me about it.” Lance sighs. “I feel like I just died and now I have to deal with evil Shiro.” He complains.

What?

“What?”

It’s only been a few weeks for them. What the hell has he missed?

Before Lance can explain, Keith hears metal crunching.

“What the hell was that?” He frowns. 

“Shiro. Kind of.” Lance says. “Come on, we need to get out of here.” He grabs Keith and Krolia by the wrist and starts running through the castle halls. As they run he explains.

Haggar did something to Shiro. It’s like she planted a seed of herself in his mind, Lance says, and now that seed is a weed that’s completely taken over. Which is inconvenient because they sort of need to be stopping Lotor right now, oh and Lotor’s evil and they meet another altean named Romelle. 

“Where are the others?” Keith asks when the rest of it commutes.

“Pidge and Hunk went to the labs, the alteans went to the library. Hopefully one of them’s going to figure out how to help Shiro soon because playing bait is not fun.” Lance says.

“Why are you playing bait?!” Keith frowns. “You’ll get hurt!”

“He already is.” Krolia says, staring at Lance’s shoulder. What’s she talking about? He looks fine to Keith. Looking back to meet Krolia’s eyes, Lance immediately pales. He skids to a stop, throwing Keith and Krolia further down the hall.

“Keep running!” Lance orders. Instead of doing that, Keith turns to see what’s happening. Lance has summoned his sword once more and taken a steady stance. 

Because Shiro is running towards them, his eyes glowing yellow and his arm activated.

“Lance!” Keith shouts as Shiro draws near enough to engage. 

“Go!” Lance shouts. “Meet up with the others, I’ll hold him back.” Keith still doesn’t listen. He feels frozen, watching as Shiro and Lance dance around each other until they’re not dancing anymore. Until Shiro grabs Lance by the throat and throws him against a wall. Screaming his name again, Keith watches Lance’s body flicker. For a second he almost looks purple, almost looks galra.

In a blink the purple is gone, replaced by regular lance. Except he  _ is _ hurt. There’s a huge gash in his shoulder, a mix of bleeding and burnt flesh. Keith almost gags.

“Mum, get Lance to the library. I’ll handle Shiro.” Keith says. 

“I’ve got this.” Lance claims, his words slurred as he tries to stand. There’s blood on the wall where Shiro threw him. Despite his arguments, Krolia has no trouble lifting him onto her shoulder and running off.

Keirth can’t say the same for himself, turning to face his brother.

* * *

They take Shiro down together. Keith keeps him distracted until Pidge and Hunk show up to give him support. 

“We need to get him to the training room.” Pidge says. They don’t stop to ask about his appearance. 

When they reach the training room, Lance shots a stunning bullet into Shiro and Allura’s eyes start to glow. Shiro recovers before she finishes her spell but the paladins are more than enough to keep Shiro distracted until, with a pained scream, he collapses.

“I cleared every trace of the witch from him.” Allura explains. “When he wakes up he should be back to normal.”

“Should?” Keith asks.

“Magic isn’t an exact science.” Allura admits. “And I don’t know how much damage Haggar did to him.”

“I’ll get him to a pod.” Coran says.

“Great, because the rest of us need to stop Lotor.” Lance says. He’s still covered in blood but he’s slurring a little less.

“Can’t the universe stay at peace for like, five minutes?” Hunk complains. “Am I asking for too much?”

“I think thirty seconds too much at this point.” Pidge sighs. 

* * *

Things don’t change when Shiro is back.

Of course they don’t.

Whether Shiro is here or not, it doesn’t change that Keith wasn’t. He’s not the same person he was when he saw them last, there’s a two year gap he doesn’t know how to bridge.

It doesn’t help that  _ they _ seem different now too. It’s only been a few weeks for them and yet… 

He missed a lot. They don’t say it, but he can tell they needed him and he wasn’t there. 

How is he meant to reconcile that?

And then, of course, there’s Lance.

Viren. Whatever.

They haven’t talked about their fight back then. It sits heavy between them, right alongside Keith’s frustrations. How is he meant to trust Lance? How is he meant to even talk to Lance?

Keith doesn’t know, and Voltron is suffering for it.

* * *

“Sound off.” It’s Lance that mumbles it, unprompted by any alarm. Their suits went into power saving mode after they used their jets to escape that monster, they haven’t had an alarm in hours. 

Which had been fine then. Hunk’s bayard use had raised their hopes, had prompted an open conversation. It hadn’t brought the lions back but they’d accepted that, slipped into something like contentedness.

And now they were silent.

Hunk, Pidge, and Allura had fallen asleep, prompted by suits that were trying to conserve air.

But Lance and Keith?

Well, galra don’t need as much air as humans or alteans.

“You know I’m the only one awake.” Keith mutters. “Why bother?”

“What else are we meant to do?” Lance sighs.

“Figuring out how to fix this?” Keith suggests.

“There’s no fixing this.” Lance whispers, quiet and defeated. “The lions aren’t connected to us anymore.”

“And whose fault is that?” Keith huffs, more bitter than he’s been in hours. It’s just the two of them now, possibly on their deathbeds, and Lance still hasn’t  _ told him _ .

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lance frowns. Out the corner of his eye, Keith sees Lance turn his head. Not that they can really see each other, they’re on opposite sides of the circle.

“I mean Voltron’s supposed to work on trust, isn’t it? And you don’t trust us. No wonder Voltron stopped working.” Keith accuses.

“What? Of course I trust you.” Lance argues. 

“Really  _ Viren _ .” Keith’s growl makes Lance stop and turn back.

“So, you know?” He finally whispers.

“If you trusted us you’d have told us you’re galra. That you’re part of the Blade.” Keith snaps.

“It wasn’t about trust.” Lance claims. “I’m… I’m not like you Keith.”

“Yeah, you are.” Keith says, glaring into the stars. “You’re galra, just like me. Don’t you think I’d want to know that? Especially back then.”

“You’re the son of Blade member, and you didn’t even know.” Lance argues. “I’m… I was born in the empire.”

“So?” Keith huffs.

“What do you mean ‘so’?” Lance huffs back. 

“What does it matter that you were born in the Empire? Why does that make you better than me?” Keith elbroates.

“I’m not better than you!” Lance snaps, managing to raise his voice despite their lowering oxygen. “I’m  _ worse. _ ”

“What?”

“Your mother is a Blade member, she’s spent her whole life fighting the galra. And you didn’t even know you were galra! And Allura still couldn’t handle it!” Lance exclaims.

“So what, you didn’t say anything because you were scared Allura wouldn’t like you?” Keith guesses sourly.

“No, I didn’t say anything because you’d all hate me and Allura just proved me right.” Lance says.

“You’re not making any sense!” Keith groans. “Why would I hate you? I’m galra too!”

“Because my father is Sendak!” Lance finally snaps. “Because I was raised in the Empire, and I believed all of Zarkons lies, and I made  _ world destroying weapons for him _ .”

“...What?” Is all Keith can manage, too confused by everything Lance’s said. 

“You might be galra Keith, but you were never part of the empire. You were never part of the problem. I was.” Lance whispers. “And I didn’t want you all to hate me for that. I get it was selfish, I get I messed up but… but what was I meant to do?”

“...” Keith is silent for a moment as he takes that in. 

Suddenly he feels… really stupid.

He knows Lance, doesn’t he? Knows that Lance is insecure, that he thinks too much. Knows that Lance would bear the weight of the world alone, take every bullet meant for someone else. Because Lance doesn’t want to bother anyone else, because Lance thinks he’s replaceable.

Isn’t it just like Lance to think the team would accept Keith and not him, to think they’re held to different standards, even when that’s not the case?

It was never about trust, it was about Lance’s insecurities. It’s never about trust with Lance, Lance trusts them unconditionally. He always has, from the day he jumped on the back of Keith’s bike even when he had no idea where they were going.

God, Keith feels like such an ass.

”I guess it doesn’t matter now.” Lance continues when Keith stays silent. “We’re going to die and maybe you’re right, maybe it is my fault.” Lance sounds…

He sounds like he really believes that.

Shit. Stupid Keith and his stupid big mouth. 

“It’s not your fault.” Keith says firmly.

“You literally just said-”

“I know what I said.” Keith cuts him off. “I didn’t mean it. I was just… hurt you didn’t tell me. That doesn’t mean this is your fault.”

“Doesn’t it?” Damnit, why does Keith always talk before he thinks? 

“If anything it’s my fault.” He says. “I should have trusted you.”

“I was keeping secrets.” Lance argues.

“Yeah, and I should have figured you had a reason.” Keith says. “And… and I should have trusted you, back when Shiro first came back.”

“What do you mean?” Lance frowns.

“I mean, we both knew something was up and you reached out but I… I ran away.” Keith sighs. “I left you to deal with everything alone. I’m sorry.” Lance is silent for a moment and Keith fears the worst. It’s getting harder to breath.

“I’m sorry too.” Lance eventually says, quiet. “I should have told you. You shouldn’t’ve had to deal with being galra on your own.”

“I wish we’d have this conversation two years ago.” Keith sighs. “It would have been nice to actually have time to be friends again.” He shuts his eyes, hearing Lance’s weak laughter in his speakers.

“We might not have been great friends,” Lance concedes, “but I think we’re pretty decent brothers.”

“Yeah.” Keith agrees, smiling slightly. “Brothers.” He can die now, Keith thinks, content in the knowledge that things are finally, finally okay.

But instead of dying, he hears a lion roar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the big points: Shiro is gone for a lot longer in this au then he was in canon because I like the idea of Keith having time to mourn and move on before oh shoot my dead brothers back.
> 
> Also instead of Shiro being a clone, Haggers just messing with his head (which is also the course of his memory problems in the earlier seasons, the mind control just wasn't complete then). This is because I love Kuro and I didn't want to kill him and there isn't room in the story for him to have his own stuff going on. 
> 
> Also I decided Keith and Krolia are in the time abyss right up until the big fight with Shiro and then Lotor. Romelle finds her own way to Voltron previous to this. Why did I do this? Mostly so Keith didn't have time to come to terms with Lance being Galra.
> 
> Okay! Up next: Allura. Probably. Hopefully it'll be up soon~


End file.
